Because my hubs didn't want a service, I didn't do one. Just a memorial so he can get his flag and 21 gun salute. He always wanted me to get his flag and salute. The home has been a nightmare. Bad enough I'm alone doing it but after 5k to just CREMATE him, 2 hour memorial and a redone Obituary I didn't authorize that they said they'd replace and didn't, I wound up sending a broken link out and just learned it has been broken since SATURDAY, I am done. Then, they have an answering service and the girl keeps interrupting me while I'm trying to explain! The level of disrespect is so cruel. Is it because I'm a poor, young black widow? I can't imagine if I was an old,, rich white widow with a huge family I'd be treated like this. I'm trying not to think like this but this is Indiana. I feel beyond disrespected. And it disrespects his memory.... No where to place the anger. I felt the same way when I went dress shopping and the girl ignored me to cater (and I shit you not) to a Mom and daughter who wasn't there to shop, but just to play dress up and she wasn't even engaged yet! I sat there watching them get champagne and macaroons and get everything I didn't.... When she did my appointment, she felt like she was uncomfortable to touch me.. She kept showing me the wrong dresses and I eventually settled on a dress I didn't want and couldn't afford just to show I deserved to be there. I regret I didn't stand up for myself then.. I cried and called my then fiancé and told him how it hurt. My mom was already passed away and I too was estranged from my family, so I went alone. When my mom passed, I lost friends and just never made anymore, staying to myself and just working and stuff.... So I've been a forced loner I call it. Now having to deal with this atrocity and not have him to tell about it just makes me want to die. I've been trying trying so so hard. So goddamn hard and I'm failing.