My mom died too. I can’t tell one grief from another. I honestly can’t tell if I’m grieving my mom because I’m still grieving my husband. Every bit of progress I made feels like I’m back at zero. I thought I was past wanting to die myself but now I just want to go where my family went. My cats are 15 and 11 and I just know I’m going to lose them soon too. I went back to work, going numb and faking my life through 35 hours a week. I have only my cats I come home to. I keep the doors closed to half the house and live here as if it’s a one bedroom apartment. My mom’s room is still full of her stuff and I found her dead in my husband’s music room that still has a lot of his stuff. I have my long distance boyfriend and a couple family members and friends who are checking in on me but I’m so moody all the time it’s hard to get along with them. I’m pushing them away. All the grief counselors around here are Christian and I’m not going to sit for anyone else to pray over me. I’m pissed at god right now.