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My husband's phone just rang. It was one of his customers. I answered to let her know that he had passed. Here's how our conversation went. By the by, she's old AF and I don't care how fucking mean that sounds.
Cust: Hello is 'husband' there?
Me: No. I'm sorry, he passed away on June 30th.
Cust: YOU'RE KIDDING? What happened?
Me: No, I'm not. It was an accident.
Cust: But what happened?
Me: IT. WAS. AN. ACCIDENT.
Cust: O...okay. Why didn't I know about this? Why wasn't it in the paper?
Me: It was posted in 'paper 1'.
Cust: Well, I don't get that paper, I only get 'paper 2'. Why wasn't it in there?
Me: I only had it posted in 'paper 1'.
Cust: Well I didn't know, I don't get that paper. I guess I'll have to find someone else to work on my furnace.
Me: Yeah, I guess you will.
Cust: Okay. Sorry about your loss.
Me: Sure thing. Hangs up
You guys already fucking know this, but it costs MONEY TO POST A FUCKING OBITUARY IN THE FUCKING NEWSPAPER. It was $300 just to post it to my city's small paper and some FUCKING BOOMER RANDO wants to bitch because I didn't drop another $500 to put it in a bigger newspaper?
It was all over Facebook that he passed and you're UPSET that you, one of his customers, didn't get this notice in your preferred newspaper?
FUCK. PEOPLE. FUCK. THIS. FUCK. EVERYTHING.
I JUST WANT MY HUSBAND BACK.
I've had so many nosy people just want to know what happened and not even say anything to me regarding my loss. I ignore everyone that doesn't seem genuinely caring. I don't think I'll ever stop hating people in general and that makes me sad because my fiancé was full of love
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I feel like my strength is gone, people tell me to be strong but the source of that is gone. My joy is gone and I have zero patience for anyone, even snapping at the most well intentioned kind people. The person that taught me to love and what true love is, is gone and I don't want to love again. If I could trade every single person in the world just for her to have one more breath of life, I would without hesitation.
I'm sorry for your loss and every grief is unique, I hope we both can get through this and learn to carry our grief