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First of all, thank you for this group! I didn't know it existed until a week ago, and it's really great to have the perspectives and support of all of you. I think people who haven't gone through this don't know what it's like, so it's great to connect with people who actually do.
My wife died a week ago after a long struggle with cancer. I'm now starting to reconnect with friends and family and people. There's this question where they ask how I'm doing. I don't know how to answer this. It feels too big, and how I feel and how I function seems to change all the time.
Edit: thanks for your input. I realized that the answer to my question is already in what I said. "How am I doing? Thanks for asking. This feels really huge, and how I feel and function changes all the time... it depends when you ask me."
I tell them the truth when they ask that question. I'm not okay, I'm not happy, I don't want to be alive with this pain but I refuse to let myself die. I don't care if it makes people uncomfortable
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