Here I am in another intense relapse. A month of this never even crossing my mind and I've come crashing back down and spent half my day completely engrossed in BBC and sissy porn wishing to be fully involved in every scene in some way serving or watching.

I feel like I've reached an impass. I'm so far down this rabbit hole I'm never escaping. That much is clear. But I'm in a relationship where I have little to no chance of ever being able to live out any of this IRL, and finding someone else just isn't an option. My kinks are not worth throwing away a 99.99% perfect relationship over.

I've no idea where this goes next. My stupid horny whiteboi brain just obsesses over the idea of being caged in chastity, watching as she gets split open by a black king with a cock that's touching places I could only dream of reaching and hearing her make noises I never knew were possible. Realising that first stroke of BBC would open a Pandora's box in her mind and suddenly we'd never go back to a vanilla sex life ever again.

What alternatives have others found when they can't explore within the confines of their relationship?