It’s about a girl I know, let’s call her Sarah, who is the girlfriend of my best friend, Mike. I sometimes feel like she gives subtle hints that make me wonder if she knows what I like, but it could just be a coincidence.

On my birthday, we all met up with friends to play sand volleyball. Sarah and I were off to the side, where no one else could hear, and she mentioned that an anonymous person tried to buy feet pictures from her on social media. I kept my cool and asked if she’d done it, and she told me she’d asked Mike, who said no. I joked that I would have said yes—it’s free money, after all—and then we moved on from it.

Another time, while we were hanging out, we talked about a girl I knew who only dated Black guys, and Sarah said, ‘Once you go Black, you don’t go back.’ I freaked out in my head and asked, ‘WHAT? How do you know?’ She just laughed and said she’d heard it somewhere.

There have been other subtle hints too. When we’re alone, she makes jokes about using Mike’s card, saying it’s his money, not hers. She’s made the small dick sign with her fingers at Mike behind his back more than once, jokingly, I think. Sarah also teases me sometimes when we’re all together, especially if I do something silly or ask a dumb question, but it always feels friendly.

There was one beach day with a group of friends where Sarah spent most of the time lying on a blanket with her legs crossed, barefoot, reading a book. I’ve done a good job of making sure she doesn’t notice me looking at her feet, but I can’t tell if she’s ever caught me or not.

With all these moments, I can’t help but wonder if she knows about my kinks and if she’s into them too. I’d want her to be aware of them, but only if she wouldn’t tell Mike.