Through one of my posts on here several months ago, I found an online Dom who has without a doubt pushed me further into this than I ever thought possible. We hit it off immediately. He had an energy I just found myself submitting to and following his every command without fail. He broadened my horizons, dabbled in kinks I didn't expect to enjoy so much, and just generally was incredibly good at pushing me beyond my comfort zone but ALWAYS in a good way. He would work up to levels of degrading and humiliation that I wouldn't even want to go into on here, but I loved every second. He gave me everything I wanted, and needed, and even the things I didn't even know I needed.

So how did I fuck up? By cumming. I orgasmed and allowed post nut clarity to take over one to many times. Every time I would let myself cum I ended up disappearing for a while and then coming back wanting more. My PNC window has shortened SO much over the years, but not enough to prevent that. I guess he eventually got fed up of this and I can't really blame him. I wish so badly that I'd just had the discipline to not allow myself to cum, and it's going to be my next hurdle to overcome. I wish I still had him pushing me down this rabbit hole further and further, dominating me, ruining my mind with his words, his tasks, the pictures and videos he would flood me with.

This is part rant, part admission, but also partly a way to try and hold myself accountable to either follow orders and stop cumming, or force myself to fight through the PNC and not break contact with a Dom who is investing his time with me. Also a warning to other whiteboys, don't let a good Dom go if you have one! The 30 seconds of pleasure from that orgasm is not worth it!