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A Pile up of Problems
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- [ ] Hello fine world of Internet Denizens. If I could I’d like to give you a breakdown of my last 3ish months, because it really is part of how we’re gotten here today. So for starters basic info which will be useful to tie together, I am a class A CDL holder (rookie 8 months in at this point) been in a relationship for the last 10 years, have 2 amazing kids who I adore and love to the end of the earth and back again. So relationship wise things have been stable but neither good nor bad the last couple years, really we just both had kind of quit without saying it. The end of 2022 we moved from TX to NY to be closer to our remaining families. I went about getting a job with the company that was going to train me to get my CDL. Worked for them, made mehhh money but we were living with my gfs parents so our cost of living was next to nothing. Time goes on, the fights continue and in some ways escalate because now fights that happen between her and her mother I am now brought into to play middle man. I get my CDL permit, start driving and training on the road, pay goes up a little but shes not happy with it, i get the issue i am gone for 36 hrs at a time but its to make money and provide for our family. We have the arguements and i always just shut down and shut up. I get my license, again better pay gone just as much, by now she HATES this company with a passion (to be fair rightfully so) arguements continue. Come July the situation is pretty miserable constant fights between her an her mother we decide to pull the trigger a rent a place. Move in date of September 1st. Days creeeep by we pay what we need to and things look set. About a week before the move in date we end up arguing and finally splitting up. I move in to the apartment, she stays where she is with the kids. So at first things were ok, we were talking and i felt relief that i could speak my mind freely without arguements. Pretty fast the reality kicked in of what my life was going to be……my apartment was my prison and i would be alone (oh hi old mental issues and fears) right away i knew i was going to need help to keep myself away from myself. Had an old friend move in. Ex hates old friend (good guy, has fucked up and done some stupid stuff) tells me i cant have the kids over because of him. Now terrible uy roomate is living for free first 2 months (i wanted to him get established) but he was able to fix 2 major issuez with my car that would have cost me a ton. All the while i advise work of this change and request if possible a schedule change to simply take my route that inleave friday night an get back sunday and if possible replace it with one that leaves sunday and gets back tuesday, i let them know this is so i can have time to be with my children. They shoot it down instantly and instead tell me they can give me a route that leaves wed gets home friday and still the weekend route (exact opposite of request) that starts a chain reaction, after this i have 3 weeks in a row where my load in my truck is about as bad as could be but i push through it do my deliveries and repeat, now during all this i am barely seeing my kids and when i do it is for a couple hours at a max. Finally im already at a point where mentally im in a really bad place and have been for a while. There’s been some attempts at SH and more than a couple thoughts of making a much bigger issue. I kept chugging through all of it because yup that’s what guys do…..So here we are Halloween night I have to work but was able adjust my sleep schedule to make sure I’m available to take the kids out to Trick or Treat. Had a couple hours again and it was great, but as always happens I drop them off an my happiness goes with them. I head to work and find that my 2nd person hasn’t arrived but no worries I’m early. Finally 30 minutes after my scheduled dispatch time they call to tell me just to leave with out him, I start my deliveries and suddenly have a mental breakdown, just everything hits me all at once and I don’t feel safe to drive the truck, I call my job and advise them that I’m making a call and bringing the truck back someone else will have to finish it because I dont feel that I can safely drive, after a lot of back and forth and a couple not so veiled threats I’m told to come back, I arrive back with everyone knowing what was happening, walk into the office and find I’m fired, I knew there was going to be a repercussion but assumed it would be a write up or suspension. Crushed I leave wondering how what was next. I put in some applications and currently have an offer from a new company that has a much better schedule and pay, but it’s a slower process , so here we are 2 weeks from rent being due, just shy of 3 weeks til my daughters 11th bday, and Xmas a month away. What do I do guys, I’m scared I’m stressed I’m lost and confused and need some guidance on how the hell to unfuck this situation. Is it sell everything i own and hope it’s enough? GoFundMe? Onlyfans? Steal catalytic converters and hope for the best?
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Profile updated: 3 days ago
Posts updated: 10 months ago
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- 10 months ago
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