Hi everyone. I (19F) am meeting my "never met mutual crush" (20M) tomorrow. The reason I call him that is because we both like each other and act like we are in a relationship, but sensibly he wants to meet me in person and make sure we get on well before he asks me out.

We have been talking every single day for the last 2 years, we met in the start of the lockdown when I was looking for friends and we found we had a lot in common and got along well so why wouldn't we continue talking? Well over time we became interested in one another. He's been such an amazing person, been there for me in hard times, shown consistent caringness for me and others, I could go on. We video call a lot and I've spoken to his friends and parents over call too. We are so excited to finally meet tomorrow.

Well, I was. I live with my parents and my dad said earlier "just don't get too attached to him even if he seems sweet, you're only just meeting". I totally understand, he has concerns and wants me to be safe and happy. However it's just been playing on my mind for hours. I feel angry at myself. What if I'm just a dumb, crazy, stupid idiot for meeting someone I met online? What fairytale world do I think I'm living in? How could I have been so stupid and ignorant to let it get as far as him flying over tomorrow? What the hell do I think I'm doing?

All my excitement has washed away and I feel like turning around and saying forget it even though it's too late. Maybe I'm a complete idiot for meeting someone I met online. Of course he couldn't actually want to date me, I just got carried away in a daydream. I feel so sad. It's true, no amount of calls, texts, videos, photos means that I know him. I'll be meeting him for the very first time ever tomorrow. I don't know him at all. How could I be so stupid to think I'd be in a relationship. I'm so sad. I just wanted to be happy. I never meant to get in a relationship this way, it just happened. And I'm trying to make this work as safely and sensibly as possible because I feel it's so worth it when you have that special sweet connection. But I'm still being judged like I'm crazy, and maybe I am. What do you think?