Just really want to get this off my chest. I am 29(f) who has entered into a relationship with my bf 22(M). We met through streaming, he became apart of the very small community, and has become a great part of my close online friend base. We all play together on stream and off stream. So we became aware of each other in early February of this year and decided to enter into a relationship towards the end of April.

I booked a flight to his home in just under a month! To Germany to be exact! So honestly everything seems great. We talk nearly every day, he is chatting and talking with my close friends, and we FaceTime a few times per week. I’ve also sent a care package to his home where he lives with his grandparents.

Now to the rant part….after a tumultuous last year and plus…I have decided to be a little more involved with my parents. Now here is the issue. My parents are well a very strange combination of arrogant zealots, know it all’s, gaslighters, guilt trippers, and narcissists, extreme worriers…oh excuse my grammar the list keeps going…. Racists, homophobic, xenophobic, trump voters. Literally we could be out somewhere and They will ask “where are the restrooms?” I will say “they are over there 👉 we are walking towards them.” Then it will be at least 3 times of “where are they?”. Now this is just the tiniest example of everything compounded on top of each event similar to this. Basically they probably think myself and my older brother are permanent 13 year olds and can’t do anything by ourselves when we are grown and thriving adults who are making great decisions for our lives.

Now that you have the background…I called my mother and told her the basic info about my bf. I said we are currently talking and I decided to go visit him in Germany. He is 22 and blah blah blah. So the very first question from my mother was “why does he live with his grandparents? Why doesn’t he have parents?” I’m like ok (in my mind I say the following) that’s a very personal question. My best friend lost both her parents at a very young age and you like her so why does it matter???? There are so many reasons. So I mention why and say I think it’s a good move to stay there and save up his money as he finishes up his apprenticeship at the end of the year. Then the next thing she asks “is he religious?” I say nope and neither am I so that’s fine. Then she asks “so if he isn’t religious is he a communist?” I’m so taken back that I truly realize how low of an IQ and an EQ my mother has. I’ve always known this. I tell her well when I go I will be giving her all of the info on my plane, address, and copy of passports . After a discussion on religion in Germany the call abruptly ends.

So everything is fine and then 2 days later as they arrive for an in person visit with me. I take them on a walk with my dog in a nice neighborhood. They are gawking at the houses (which are nice and have cool structures) making comments on how even my cousin who is an orthopedic surgeon couldn’t even afford to live here. I hold in a laugh knowing full well my cousin who is probably topping at least at $500k could very well afford this even 4 fold. They make comments on how I should marry a millionaire that can buy them a nice house. Then the day goes on. we get coffee and here it comes. The convo….

they sit me down and start saying how most likely “this guy” from Germany is a sex trafficker. I hold in my laugh. Now at this point I don’t say anything in rebuttal because I know it’s about to get ridiculous. My mother who can’t figure out how to set an alarm on her cellphone said she googled info about germany and how it is a sex trafficking hot spot. Then goes into how they asked a state trooper who said some type of statistic about 90% of people traveling alone are sex trafficked. Again I’m like wtf statistic is that seems made up or they repeated it back wrong. as a side note I have caught my mother twisting the words of my brother on multiple occasions. Then she calls my cousin who does border patrol for the US and Canada. Apparently my cousin says “not my realm of expertise but doesn’t sound good and I wouldn’t let my 16 year old daughter go alone” like yes of course you wouldn’t she is 16.

So they continue on sex trafficking I do rebut with I am aware that happens and to the majority of women and children in 3rd world countries which is very sad. They negate it. I bring up how we might go visit my Dutch female friend in the Netherlands who I have known for about one and a half years. My mother says who knows she could be part of the sex trafficking since they recruit young people. I hold in a laugh because while that can happen on “pimps” using their girls as bait it’s just so ridiculous they wouldn’t believe I have good judgement on my friend choices. I have never given them doubt on my friends. They also mention how he is 22 and wont be able to “take care of me”. I remind them that in my previous relationship my bf who was older never held down a job and I had to support him. I didn’t bring this up the second time around but my current bf has been accepted by his apprenticeship company and dabbles in investing. In short when he describes the tech projects he is working on it amazes me how smart and hardworking he is! And second….I am a damn grown woman. I support myself.

The conversation then ends with how “this guy” is a sex trafficker and if I go missing then they will basically die. I’m like god damn. They said they want him to come to America first and to come to their house immediately. Im just sitting there through this whole thing thinking you know what my parents need consequences for their behavior. I don’t know what it will be yet but it needs to happen. I personally am insulted on not their concern but their level of arrogance and ignorance. First insulting someone they don’t even know. Second belittling my choices after I have taken the right steps. Third not even searching for proper statistics or facts and solely watching too many dateline shows. Oh and screw you writer of Taken. Wonderful movie but just screw you right now 😂

To wrap it up I told them at the end of the day it is my decision and that will be final.

So I guess to make this into a discussion have any of you had this extreme ness with family/friends? What have you done to combat this?

TLDR: my parents think my bf is a sex trafficker and I will be forced into sex slavery when I meet him for the first time in person (Germany)

EDIT: Just a quick update for anyone who finds this post in the future. I had an absolutely reasonable conversation with my brother who said to do a couple things before I go. Make sure I have my bf's ID, make sure I see the house over video chat, and to speak with his grandparents. 2/3 complete and the third one will be done tomorrow. I was already going to do these things just did not do it immediately since I was preparing for my family's trip. My parents are crying over this and I know for a fact they are exhibiting extremely manipulative and dare I say narcissistic behaviors that I have explored in therapy. My brother explained if I take those measures of safety he will back me up 100%. He hasn't let me down before unlike my parents. I am extremely pissed off and taking some time to cool down, but as it stands I will only be in communication with my brother.

This just brings to light the issue really isn't my bf the issue is with my parents attempting to control my life.

EDIT 2: I'm typing this as I am in my second and final week with my bf. We are having a wonderful time together! He has been nothing but absolutely sweet and adorable just as he his online.