Sooooo...

A bit of context first: this is about two mature CDs (one closeted - me, the other not fully out but close) in a time of pandemic.

At the end of last year I met someone online and, after the introductory mails and some texting between us we seemed to hit it off and started talking about meeting in RL (we live not 30km apart) ... and then the "Christmas Wave" hit and a new confinement was imposed, also we were (from the start) talking of waiting to meet only after we both got the imunization shots... so we mailed and texted each other almost everyday and after a couple of weeks Cindy asked me if I would be her "girlfriend" to wich I (starved 4 afection lol) obviously said yes and so things proceded and I started developing deep feelings for this person I'd never met and believed it was mutual... by this time I'd stoped all my on-line "phillandering" and was comitting myself to try and make this relation work... then at the beginning of April Cindy had to go and spend 2 months in Scotland 4 work and we set the end of May as our (finally) meeting time... and then she got introduced into the local trans/cd community and lo and behold "I met these gurls and one is trying to seduce me and I don't know what to answer her and I'm so undecided and must giver her an aswer" and obviously the answer must have been "yes" because it's been complete radio silence for the last week... so now here I am not angry but sad, wondering how could I develop feelings for someone I've never even saw and are all on-line meets as fickle as this and the norm is "when I say I'm commited it doesn't really means I'm commited"... or was I just a passtime until something "real" cames along ?...