Let me makes this quick to the point. I (m19) met my bf (m23) online here on reddit in March last year. We're gay, he's out while I'm in the closet (sorta). My mom is homophobic and very overbearing to the point that she's really controlling and she dislikes it when I talk to friends. I don't even call my few friends since my mom is working from home. She discourages me from hanging out with friends. She calls me every hour to do a task for her like, "Give her food, water, cook, laundry, and other stuff. "Anyways, stupid me who didn't have a lock on my phone, was flirting with my bf (he wasn't my bf at this time) and my mom snooped my phone and freaked out seeing the heart emojis. I'm from Canada and he's from the philippines (I'm also half filipino). My mom who took away my phone at the time, made my life difficult. She kept spying on me when I used my laptop and kept asking "who I'm talking too whenever I use the keyboard." This was around May.

Since then, things cool down abit, but she still didn't forget this. I remember her saying that she felt like someone stabbed her by looking at my conversation with my guy. She kept telling me about being scammed and all of that which made me very paranoid. Ofcourse, I talked about this with my now bf and he was very calmed and he tried his best to comfort me at the time. And yes, I videocall him all time. But videocalling him can be emotionally tough at times since I have to wait for my parents to go asleep, and pretend to sleep myself and go to the basement to just call him (so my parents won't hear me)

Just know, my mom just know kept telling me, "I trust you and you don't know who you're talking too, they might ask you for money." I did my homework on my bf, and i knew him for almost a year. Yes, he's broke and in college but not once he ever asked me for money and he said if he wanted money, he'd earn it. I have a part time job btw in which my hours got cut due to covid and my bf didn't say much about that except comforting me. To make the situation worse, my parents want to move to a homophobic island (my dad's country in the west indies.)

I love my guy so much, but i don't want to risk losing him. I love my parents ofcourse, but my mom is getting on my nerves. This is the reason why I feel my LDR is hard, other wise it be so much easier.