Back at the start of the millennium I had just got out of a toxic relationship and my mum, worried that I’d end up living with my narcissistic father, if anything happened to her, informed me ‘that there is thing called online dating’. She thought it very naughty to subscrib to.

I hadn’t the heart to tell her that everyone else knew about it. So it became our conspiracy. Each evening she’d come up to my room and we would look at the profiles and choose together who I’d message. we narrowed it down to three that I was interested in and I would chat with them then update he on how it was going. She loved that we had a secret from my father. It was a little act of rebellion.

now backstory ... I’d come back to live with them because of ill health. Had got better then my father started up his bad behaviour again and I just couldn’t let my mum be his focus all the time. She on the other hand wanted me to get out again.

gradually, it became obvious that one of the three guys was a really good fit ... except that he was in Australia and I was in the U.K. we would chat online at 5.30 am and 10pm my time (his finishing work and his getting up). This started in the October and he was planning on coming to live in the U.K. in the January (he’d emigrated when he was 6).

so, early January I pack up my little car to go and collect him from the airport. He planned that we would have a week away together to see how we got on then look to get a flat a little while after that.

As I left my parents house at 0430 in the morning my mum stuffed a £20 note into my hand Telling me that if he looked like a serial killer to use it to put petrol in the car and come home.

If he was OK I was to use it to treat us to lunch one day.

I get to the airport at just after 0530 and armed with a single photo of him and a description I look around arrivals for him. Description was photo was over 5 years old and he was now clean shaven (this is before we all had cameras on our phones. I was unusual in that I had a digital camera so had sent a recent photo) so had less hair and he was 5ft 8. Now I’m just under 5ft 8 but over 5 ft 7 so I’m always playing down my height as people who are 5ft 8 seem to be concerned that I’m shorter than them by about 1/4” and those who are 5ft 7 don’t like that I’m taller.

What I see as I enter arrivals is a bald headed guy who if he is 5ft 8 then I’m 5ft 10 and is clean shaven. he sees me and waves. Thank goodness I have the ability to control my face because it was a shock. The photo was more likely 10 years old.

I pile him and his luggage into my little car and he sleeps whilst I drive to Worcester.

and that £20? We used it to pay for lunch at the pump room in bath in the Friday before we came back. 3 weeks later we got our first flat and we’ve been together for 16 years ... married for 13.

have hope.