I got married yesterday

My fiancé and i got married yesterday. It was a semi secret affair with about ten people. We’ve been together for six years, have two kids, and decided with everything going on we should make it official.

Overall it went fine. Our kids behaved. My parents got to FaceTime in. People seemed to enjoy themselves for the very small event it was.

I’m so sad Though. I could cry. I know part of it is just post event blues and not having this little secret anymore.

I saw a few pictures and I looked so so objectively bad. Nobody except my daughter and our photographer told me I looked nice. Now I know why. I’ve gained so much weight and I looked so bad. Its not even just weight though Because I know bigger women can be beautiful it’s just me. I look sloppy and gross. I can never share our wedding photos.

I just am so sad and so upset with myself for being so fat and for letting it ruin my wedding day for me. I hate myself.