I married my wonderful husband on March 23, 2018. We were engaged at the end of May, 2017. It was a relatively short engagement for several reasons. Our main reason was that I was on the waitlist for Nursing School – on track to be admitted either with a start date of August 2018, or latest, January 2019. I found out on our honeymoon that I was admitted for August of 2018 and deferred for a semester to make sure we were in a financially stable place before I stepped down from my wonderful, awesomely-salaried job. We also live in Arizona and had NO desire to be married in the heat of summer – which is basically most of the year. We married the day after our 4th anniversary, so it definitely had sentimental value, but we are also horrible at remembering anniversaries. Having both around the same time gives us a little leeway!

It was a beautiful ceremony and reception. I get compliments all the time. That being said, I was so busy and didn’t really get to experience it. I often ask myself, “Are they saying it was beautiful and they had a great time because they really did, or because they have to say that to the bride?!”

I have more to say, and I will. But I know what you’re here for.

Here are some photos!

Without further ado, heres the breakdown!

INVITED: 145

DECLINED: 39

NO SHOWS: 6

The numbers don’t add up. Some people showed up that RSVP’d no, which is great, because I put my “I RSVPd NO BUT HERE I AM!” place holder cards to good use. Some people brought guests that I said couldn’t come. Cool.

PAYMENTS VIA THE VENUE:

Values based on quoted 104 guests

Exclusive Friday Venue Rental $5500

*meaning we had entire venue. No other weddings took place that day. We had a VERY large venue, where each part of the wedding took place in a separate room:

Ceremony, cocktail hour, reception, buffet room.

Venue Cleaning Fee $200.00

CateringS****** Brewery Stationed Appetizers Buffet $40pp $4,160.00

Bar

Beer, Wine, Mixer Bar, based on 5 hours, per

person, minimum of 100 guests

$1,820.00

*I had to purchase liquor while venue provided mixers. I was very lucky in that I run a restaurant/distillery, which means I didn’t have to pay for the liquor I brought thanks to my wonderful owner!

2 Bartenders based on a 5 hour minimum $350.00

Cake SJ Cakes $416.00

I had a small 2-tiered cake, mini cupcakes, and cake pops.

Engagement Photography: $0

I won this at a bridal expo.

Photography~custom

photography package $2,300.00

DJAP DJ Service ~ 5 Hour Package $1,250.00

FLOWERS~ $1,309.00

This included aisle décor, fireplace mantel garland with beautiful blooms and prickly pear cacti in gold pots, my bouquet, 4 bridesmaids bouquets, groom’s boutonnière, and boutonnieres for 5 groomsman, a grandfather, my father. We skipped corsages and gave our mothers a single stemmed peach rose. Reception décor used much of ceremony décor, along with florals for 12 tables, hurricane vases with floating candles, and more beautiful cacti. The garland was used on our sweetheart table.

*On our first meeting, the florist stood us up. She was having personal issues, but gave us beautiful florals which hung from the ceiling below geometric structures at no cost.

Linen Upcharges

Blush Sequin Taffeta Sweetheart Table $55.00

Blush Sequin Taffeta ~ Dessert Table $65.00

Venue payments plus taxes, rental fees, etc:

$19,737.94

PRETTY THINGS

My wedding band: $500

Grooms wedding band: $650

Groom’s watch(gift from me): $300

Dress(Essense of Australia): $1500

Alterations: $750

*alterations would have been less if I hadn’t lost so much weight towards the end of our scheduled times – phentermine was my friend.

Veil: $40

I bought three veils, and I even made one which I LOVED but it was way too white.

This one was from JJ’s house, and it was two tiered, but I hated it, so I just cut off the shorter tier. Voila!

Hair Makeup $900

Hair Makeup for myself, my mother, groom’s mother.

Makeup for all bridesmaids

Shoes: $40 on sale at macy’s

Bridal jewelry:

Earrings, bracelet, necklace: $120

Bridal sash: $51

Groom suit, boots tailoring: $600

MOH dress: $175

Completely vain, unnecessary things:

Waxing

For me, and for him!: $120

Eyelash Extensions: $55

Restylane Lip Filler: $300

Extra Vendors:

Officiant: $500

Rehearsal Dinner tip $850

Parents paid this. I paid tip.

HILTON Executive Suite2 NIGHTS: $350

DOC: $500

TIPS

Photographers: $200 PLUS GIFTS

Servers: $400

Bar: $200

DOC: $100 PLUS GIFT CARD GIFT

Makeup/Hair: $200

Gifts:

Bridesmaid proposal boxes:

50 x 4 $200

Thank you gifts

BMs/mothers:

Kate Spade braceletsx4 $120

Stemless Wine Glassx6 $104

Groomsman/Dad Gifts:

Set of 8 custom YETIs $229

Cigars: $100

Snapchat filter: $20

Signature Drink Sign Printable$8

Do Not Disturb Sign-Hotel $7

10 Bachelorette party custom temporary tattoos

$18

Acrylic Card Box: $20

Bar Menu Sign Welcome Sign $11.60

A few frames from Michaels: $50

Guest book: $70

Cake topper: $30

Acrylic Table Number Signs: $20

I purchased acrylic sheets from lowes, had them cut to size, and used paint pens.

Place cards, minted: $40

Place card holders were 3-D printed by my brother.

Rehearsal Digital Invites, Minted: $0

Wedding favors

Frosted Unfrosted animal crackers: $50

Wedding favor tags: $10

Wedding favor bags: $5

HONEYMOON

FLIGHTS

FROM AZ TO FL RT $910

HOTEL $260

DISNEYWORLD $238

SOUVENIRS $pfff nope. Just lots of snacks.

FL TO JAMAICA RT: $685

ALL INCLUSIVE RESORT $2820

Hideaway Royalton Negril

Via Costco, 5 days

ZIPLINING $80

MISC $200

TIPS

2 BUTLERS $300

BARTENDERS $100

WAITSTAFF $100

MAID $100

ESTIMATED TOTAL: $35915

This is the first time I have added everything up. I honestly believed I would be spending less than the “average”, but with the honeymoon added in – I was so terribly wrong.

My “initial” budget was $15000. This was in the beginning stages, being naïve to everything that adds up. Then I moved it to $25000. Even then, I went over my budget by nearly $11000!

My parents contributed $13000 to the wedding, and everything else was paid out of pocket by us. We did not go into debt over our wedding, thank goodness.

We had a registry, and while we had a great amount of gifts purchased through that, we additionally had monetary gifts totaling $5000. This was very, very unexpected, and we are so grateful.

THE GOOD:

1. It was a blur, but I had a wonderful time. Since we had our wedding, I have had a wonderful time with my husband.

People keep asking how “married life” feels. We moved in together within 4 months of dating… so nothing really feels too different. Our bank accounts have been combined for a long time. We raised two dogs together. However, we have GREAT car insurance now and just bought a new car! My name change was also pretty easy, despite the fact that the door in my dash decided to no longer open as soon as I parked in the Social Security lot. It had my documents inside. I had no choice but to be the crazy lady in the SSA parking lot, attempting to rip her own dashboard door open with a rusty screwdriver. I also had to wait a month and a half for my new license, as the AZ MVD decided to flag me and send me to investigations. But really, overall pretty easy.

1. My venue contact was amazing. She was there for me before the wedding, and the day of the wedding. While my venue said I wouldn’t need a DOC, I still hired one (I don’t regret it), but my contact was so sweet and on top of things. I appreciate her so much!

2. The food was better than I remembered at the tasting. Seriously. SO GOOD! I still have leftovers in my freezer – because they stocked us up so well. We had southwestern caprese salad, horseradish short rib, Cajun chicken alfredo, horseradish mashed potatoes, and aged white cheddar mac n cheese.

3. My amazing bridesmaids stepped up a lot! There are photos of one of them putting bandaids on my heels – like a true soldier.

4. My MOH. Guys, for a moment there I thought she might drop out as I live in AZ and she lives in NYC. But she killed it. Not only that, her speech was the only thing that made me cry throughout the entire day.

5. My DOC was a godsend. The best money I spent. She directed everyone so well. Her attention to detail was impeccable. She came with every single document I sent her – original and revised. There was a snag with seating arrangements, which I’ll mention later, and it may have been a disaster without her. At the end of the night, my mother realized she was supposed to bring her car to load everything up, but we had ubered instead. My DOC packed everything up and delivered it to my hotel without a single audible grumble.

6. My mother was my rock. She’s usually a stress-case, but on the day of my wedding, so was just so blissfully excited. I was easily agitated, but she did such a great job of calming me down and making me realize I was taking things too seriously. Honestly, her demeanor was a complete surprise, but I could cry right now remembering how stable and supportive she was.

7. Every single thing with my vendors went so seamlessly. I have no complaints, and I know that’s not something a lot of brides can say!

What Went Wrong:

1. I. Forgot. The. Tips.

I had them nestled in a well organized bag in my hotel room – and that’s where they stayed. I felt terrible. Additionally, the remaining balance for my officiant was in that bag. Thankfully, I had cash on me to pay him the remainder – but he overheard me speaking with my DOC about the tips left in the hotel room, and decided he would hang around asking my groom about the tips, thinking they were for him. He owns his own business, and we weren’t planning on tipping him. He made it really, really awkward. Thankfully, I showed up bright and early the next day and made sure every single person got their tips.

1. Family Drama

a. I had never EVER had issues with my MIL until the night before the wedding, and she turned into a monster. Honestly, it was so bad that she didn’t send me a single text (after months of texting almost every day) for two months. I don’t think we will recover.

b. My estranged grandmother, who RSVP’d no (after I uninvited her when she was rude to my mother at my bridal shower), decided to show up anyway. My poor mother, father, brother, and groom were all panicking and trying to figure out how to tell me, thinking that I would burst into flames and set her on fire in front of everyone. The woman refused to leave when they all told her I wouldn’t be happy. Anyway, my mother finally told me, and I’ll never forget the exhale of relief that came out of her when I just shrugged my shoulders and said, “Of course she’s here. Oh well!”

1. My poor husband was having anxiety the day of the wedding. It wasn’t cold feet – just anxiety about being in front of about 100 people, being public about his usually very private love life. I spent the entire time during our ceremony talking shit to him in whispers, and it really, really calmed him down. Example: Officiant: “For richer or poorer…” Me: “Definitely poorer.”

2. Table Greets. We could not get through them fast enough, and it really kinked up our timeline. Lots of older guests wanted more time, and one even chased us down at the next table when she realized the photos she took weren’t good enough. I had my photographers from 3pm – 9pm, and I should have booked them until 10 or 11pm. They ended up staying until 9:30 for us, because they are obviously angels.

3. We had to cut our mother-son, father daughter dances short due to the timeline and our photographers having to leave. I’m pretty bummed because I had my mom’s choice song for my father-daughter dance, which was “When You Say Nothing at All” and it was supposed to cut into “SOB” by Nathaniel Rateliff, as it reminds me of my father. Instead, I had to cut that part out.

4. I turned into a stressed out maniac about 2 weeks before the wedding. I had serious anxiety, when I’ve never had an inkling of it in my entire life. I was fighting with my now-husband, because he always told me to tell him what I needed help with, but wouldn’t do the things I asked because he didn’t think they were that big of a deal. Looking back, they weren’t, but at the time, they were a very big deal to me. But really – get your rest, and take deep breaths.

5. My MOH was in charge of making sure all place cards and holders were put into a box for my DOC. Well... people at the reception kept coming up to me, saying they didn't have a cactus. "Everyone has a cactus! Not my problem!" I said, as I directed them to my DOC. Thankfully, I had made a spreadsheet and table seating chart for my DOC, so she was able to direct guests to their tables. I came home the next day to find that about HALF of the place cards were left in another box. #MOHFail. Thank goodness for my DOC. I'm sending the abandoned place cards to their respective guests in my Thank You cards!

There you have it! The things worth mentioning! I could go even deeper and add my expenses for the bachelorette…but I’m scared.

Edit: added #7 in What Went Wrong