Hi there, current MOH here.

My best friend's bachelorette party happened. I rented a beach house for the weekend, we had food and entertainment; all around, it was a good party and the bride seemed happy, so I'm happy. In the planning process, I kept in touch with the other BMs often and checked in on how comfortable everyone was contributing to the party. Everyone confirmed that a certain amount of money was reasonable and that they'd pay me in person the day of the party. I budgeted the entire party around this as I'm also getting married next year and have financial issues of my own.

Day of the party, half an hour before the bride is supposed to arrive, one of her BM messages saying that she is having car trouble and won't be coming. Okay, fine, whatever. She's not my friend (never met her), and while I have trouble believing the excuse, it's not my decision to be angry and if Bride is understanding, awesome. Bride was understanding and didn't seem to dwell on her abscence.

However, the matter still remains that I bought things for this bridesmaid, planned the party expecting everyone to contribute as they said, and she hasn't offered to pay me still or responded to my questions about the upcoming shower. Do I ask her directly and tell her that she still owes me the money she agreed upon? I want to have sympathy but at the same time, my sympathy is directly hurting me in this aspect. I am also fronting the shower money for the food, decorations, games. Do I trust that she's going to pay me back for that, too? I really, really don't want to go to bride about this. I'm not even sure I'm 100% in the right to ask as she didn't attend.

Just looking for a sounding off point and advice.