So I decided to go to kleinfelds today to try on dresses to see what would look good. I’ve lost a lot of weight and just didn’t know how I’d feel in the gowns with my loose belly skin.

I got there and bonded immediately with my consultant, even though I was in the waiting area for a half hour prior. Everything went well. I tried on about 12 gowns. I even found a dress I loved!! And then the high crashed down and I processed the appointment.

I went from a street size 20 to a street size 10/12. So I went to the sample sale thinking I’d at least be trying on some bigger 12s and maybe 16 (I know bridal runs ridonculously small). But there were only a few “regular” size dresses I could try. The rest were mostly too big for me dresses that were sizes 18-22. I liked them but couldn’t envision the end product with all the alterations given the way the clips were done.

I wanted to make sure I left no stone unturned so the consultant and I walked around to the racks so I could see if any others jumped out at me. But I noticed all the dresses were sizes 20 and up.

It’s defeating to think about since I thought I would have SO many more options than when I was almost 300 lbs. But I feel like I didn’t.

I tried this on and it fit like a glove. And when I retried it on at the end of the appointment to affirm it was perfect for me, I was excited to say yes to the dress. It’s a size 20 and that doesn’t bother me a ton in and of itself.

But I can’t help thinking I was robbed of other dresses I thought I could have based on the size I thought my body was… it just isn’t clicking for me.

Plus, my family wasn’t there (sisters, mom, etc) and it was just my partner for support - he knew I was approaching the experience with body image issues so was going to be far better than my mom who’s less subtle about her feelings toward my body than most mothers. I feel guilty over that too, or feeling like I should have a second, REAL appointment to include them.

My only issue with the actual dress is I want pops of color, which is super doable in alterations if I order some appliqués to match from Etsy.

Help me figure out if I did the right thing, please!!

https://imgur.com/a/fl7mIZW