He got engaged last year and planned the wedding for 2026.

He asked me immediately to attend his engagement in New York, to which I said yes and bought the tickets for. He changed last minute to florida, but still asked me to be his best man even though I couldn’t go. I accepted.

I also got a new girlfriend and moved two hours away from the town he and I lived in, so haven’t admittedly been in contact as much.

The friendship has been extremely toxic for years. He is a textbook narcissist and I finally realized it this past weekend after an event we both attended.

He was in my area this past weekend for a festival and invited me to go but tickets sold out. My gf, who was concussed the week prior, had a horse lesson that day that I drove her too, so couldn’t make it, but invited them for dinner. They went golfing instead and invited us both.

He proceeds to lay into me the second I get there about how my gf obviously hates them. We played golf and I went home. He texted me the next day:

Him: “wait if your gf has a concussion, how is she still riding horses?”

Me: “hey, valid question. She’s not actually riding but is doing lessons on basic horsemanship and groundwork!”

Him: “and she’s going on a Sunday also when barns are closed? She’s lying to you man and both of us are getting played, dump her ass”.

I explained all of this to him when we were golfing. The barn was not closed and I drove her to the lesson. This is not the first time either he has accused me of lying to him, or her (who he has met ONCE) of being a liar either. I’ve been nothing but truthful with him.

Everything clicked for me when I got that text; the years of mental abuse, superiority complex, and gaslighting that he had put me through finally made sense. His family disowned him last year due to all of this as well. One of his former friends also sent him a long text when he ended the friendship years prior that highlight my current concerns EXACTLY. I was too gaslit to see it.

I’ve ghosted him and am refusing to reach out. I’m debating not even reaching out to him to let him know that our friendship is obviously over due to his constant snide comments and letting him figure out on his own that the man he asked to be his best man is no longer going to be so.

EDIT:

Some clarification as to why I am deciding to ghost. When we went on a road trip together two years ago, he blew up on me out of NOWHERE in the middle of a store to the point security had to check on us to see if we were okay. He cornered me, and told me I was ruining the trip and everything I had done wrong up until that point. The catalyst? I was walking faster than he was to use the bathroom because I was about to shit myself. He thought it was just an excuse to get away from him.

My younger, naive mind should have ghosted him right then and there…but obviously I have dug myself a hole. I’ve grown, he has not. And he obviously has a tendency and possibility of getting violent at that.