Important:

Hi Watch_dogs reddit! I'm writing some fan-fic about Watch_dogs. I don't think is good enough because I'm not english and I don't have good writting skills, but I'll post it anyways because I'm going to continue writing it for a friend, and if you like it, I'll post the rest when it's done. Any feedback will be appreciated and hopefully this won't hurt your eyes much D:<

Edit: Text formatting

Wake up user :) Nudle is pleased to great you on a new day as is estipulated in the ISA-97320a standard of company behavior for every employee of the Nudle company.

Have a nice day, employee 2-1-3-9c from Block 2a

<< I've always hated that alarm clock, I'd like to put my fingers around the neck of whoever invented it and press, hit, bite, hear the last breath of that motherfucker. This may sound weird, but I hate working for Nudle, it makes me sick. Heh look at you, sitting there, on the edge of the bed, wondering why are you still alive. I hate you too. I hate every single part of you. Your eyes, your voice, your soul. Fuck you. And fuck you too, Nudle alarm clock! You are the root of all my problems, you are why I am here, you did it, you made me do it. Yes, it's your fault, because, who else could convince me to work for Nudle? Of course, only me, only myself, the great genious. What now? Should I kill myself? Nah, that's not your style, that's not my style... Just get up, walk to the bathroom, have your daily shower and go work for those bastards... if that can be called work... You're... I'm... a fucking scholar. I move coffees from room to room, I receive every shout, I deal with every programmer with anger issues that's not having a good day, I deal with everything... Except coding, that is what I am qualified for. Fuck you Nudle. And fuck you too, Nudle alarm clock.>>

- Hello! How are you? Coffee guy heh? Haha I'll learn your name, eventually, I promise!

<< I hate you, Mac from Marketing. And I hate you too, Nudle alarm clock. >>

- Heh, two months and you still don't know my name, heh, you can call me Mike, and I'm doing fine, how are you? :)

- Wow fine too, thanks. Hey let's talk later I'm too busy right now, ok?

<< They never have time for me. I'm not human anymore, I'm not even Mike. I'm the coffee guy for them. 5 years of University, 2 years of experience and I'm one of the highest-rated motherfucking genious out there. I move coffees from room to room. >>

- No problem Mac, see you later, on... Marketing I guess, heh.

Nudle is proud to announce that we are opening a new floating store. Yep, you hear right. A floating store, right here in SF, and it's going to be legen... Haha keep working buddies, we couldn't be so awesome without your help!

<< Yes yes, and for sure you won't ask your employees if they like to work on the water... Fuck you Nudle. And fuck you too, Nudle alarm clock! >>

- Hey coffee, give me some mocha, now. Some Dedsec kid has tried to hack us and they broke a lot of shit here, we are on an emergency state and most of the programmers are on the conference. We don't have time to waste on trivialities such getting coffee you know? Come on! Why are you still here? Mocha, MOCHA!

<< Coffee. Not Coffee Guy. Just Coffee. I should have stayed in bed.>>

- Ok boss, Mocha here.

- What took you so long? I almost fall asleep five times while you were out! Those kids of Dedsec think they can mess with us with no consequences. We aren't even doing anything wrong, we are the fucking heroes here, we help people!

<< Stealing data from their accounts? Selling their GPS locations to mobs and gangs? Yes, "we" are the "heroes" here... >>

- I don't know boss, you know how anarchist are... They don't attack good or bad people, they just like to mess things up for everyone. I don't think they are a real threat.

- Coffee... That's what I wanted to hear, that's my boy, my coffee boy... Sorry for being rude to you before... Come here, sit next to me and learn how a real netsec guy works! Maybe you learn something for your future!

<< My IQ is 60 points higher than yours, I can tell you the first two thousand prime numbers without even thinking too much. I'm not going to learn anything from you, I don't even want to sit next to you. I hate you. >>

- Ok boss, I'd like to see some real fire, thanks for this oportunity :)

- Heh don't call me boss, remember, I'm your friend, just call me Gary or G.

<< I hate you, "G". And I hate you too, Nudle alarm clock. >>