At least a few times a month, if not a week, someone posts a plea to this subreddit. The variables will vary, as they tend to, but the substance remains the same:

“I got my MA in International Affairs a year ago and I still can’t find a job…”

“I just graduated and I’ve been driving for Uber because I can’t find a job on the Hill…”

“I still can’t find a job even though I have a 4.0 from Hudson University and spent a year backpacking through the Dyatlov Pass!”

And so on.

If you’re looking for a job in policy, non-profits, think tanks, comms, lobbying—honestly anything besides something like law, tech, medicine, or defense requiring very specialized skill sets/credentials/clearances—your problem probably comes down to networking, or a lack of effective networking.

Networking is how jobs are acquired in most fields. Full stop. Unless you’re going through something like OCI on campus, an employer probably has little reason to look at your resume. On the other hand, if your resume comes to the employer via an employee or friend, who can vouch for you, you’ll probably get an interview.

But how do you network?

Well, the honest answer is, you get off Reddit, you get off TikTok, you leave your apartment, and you have coffee with people in meatspace. Or maybe over Zoom, if they’re remote.

Once you get your foot in the door and find a job (and it will probably happen, provided you network well), you will rapidly notice that everyone around you is always stepping out of the office for “coffees.” These are networking meetings. They might also be social things, perfectly and sincerely enjoyable, but they’re also networking. Everyone does it, almost constantly, and you shouldn’t stop once you find a job. You should make an effort to continue to make friends, meet people, get to know them, and help them, if you can.

But let’s say you don’t know anyone locally in the field you want to work in. Let’s say you were a mediocre student at a mediocre Public Policy MA program in the middle of the country and you’ve come out here to get a job. How should you start networking?

I’d essentially start asking for coffees with anyone and everyone you can find who you have even the most tenuous connection to. Ask old professors for introductions. Find alumni from your school. Find friends of friends. The worst thing that can happen is that they’ll say no, but most likely, they won’t, because they understand how the game works.

Next, you’ll want to be professional and pleasant for the coffee. Dress nicely, but not like a Republican, unless you are one (in which case, this whole rigamarole probably isn’t necessary for you since the standard for jobs in conservative organizations is much lower, and the applicant pool much smaller; still, it wouldn’t hurt to have your dad call his friends from the country club if you’re still stuck). Offer to pay for coffee—they probably won’t let you, but it’s appreciated.

Don’t be a downer—no one likes a depressed person. And I say this as a depressed person who does a very good impression of a happy person. You need to act like you’re excited to be here in DC, you’re excited to get a job and do well at it, and like you’re not actually panicking at the prospect of living in a tent city during the brief tenure of its existence before Bowser bulldozes it. You can mention that the job search is challenging—don’t lie and act like you’ve been turning down jobs. It’s fine to admit you’re having trouble. Most everyone does, at some point.

For the actual content of the coffee, you’re going to ask substantive questions about your coffee partner’s job and career trajectory. You’re going to act interested in these subjects, even if they’re boring. I don’t care how autistic TikTok has convinced you you are. You need to do a passable imitation of an interested, pleasant person.

If you’re having trouble with this, I’d recommend thinking about it in terms of acting. You’re playing the role of an effective, optimistic, gregarious go-getter. It doesn’t matter if you’d rather be holed up in your room playing Fortnite or cyberbullying people on tumblr. You need to act like someone that other people might conceivably enjoy spending 40-60 hours a week with, or at least not hate the prospect.

I suspect that the fine art of conversation is disappearing in our digital age, which is a shame, because it makes everyone boring. You should be able to chat with anyone about anything and find something interesting to say and also listen attentively. You can practice this with people you encounter in your life: your family, your lovers, bar staff (in general, it helps to practice with people who are obligated to listen to you while you get the hang of it). To a great extent, being a good conversationalist relies on finding interesting questions to ask your conversation partner, and then allowing them to answer. Then, you offer a reply that perhaps adds something, and gives them a chance to talk more if they seem so inclined.

This may sound tongue-in-cheek, but I’m actually serious. I think the Pandemic fucked up the ability of a lot of people to talk and act like we’d prefer humans talk and act. Social media certainly doesn’t help, with its dehumanizing tendencies. If you’re still having trouble, I’d recommend studying actors widely known as charismatic, or perhaps taking an improv class, as a last resort. Improv will fix your problems, but at a great personal cost of making you insufferable.

Anyway, let’s say you specialize in Turkish politics, and you have a coffee with someone who works in the foreign service and supports consular work in Mexico. There’s not a lot of overlap there, but that’s okay—you’ll broach the topic of getting coffee by explaining that you’re trying to get a foothold in the district, that you’ve heard great things about them from another person, that you’d just like to pick their brain about careers and hiring, if it’s not too much trouble, you know it’s hard to find the time and summer is so busy, etc etc.

When you actually sit down with them, you’ll ask questions about their job. What they like about it, what they don’t like, the day to say work, and so on, but especially focus on how they got the job. What kinds of preparation they had. What kinds of challenges they faced. What they did right, what they did wrong, etc. what they wish they’d known then.

Then, if you feel the conversation has gone well, ask them if they could connect you with anyone else in their field or one closer to yours, and if they could take a Quick Look at your resume (print out a copy and bring it with you, but they might prefer an emailed copy).

In this way, you’ll build a chain of contacts—a network!—that will eventually lead you to a job.

During this process, you should keep an eye out for jobs you’re interested in, and even ones you aren’t—it’s much, much easier to get a job if you’ve already got one, and people will jump around a lot in their early careers, especially in DC. It’s not unusual for people to start a new job every year, if not every six months, while they’re leapfrogging from position to position near the bottom of the proverbial totem pole (unceded land, Piscataway people).

You should apply to any job even remotely related to the field or type of job you want to be in, even internships. Fellowships—a fancier name for an internship—which often come with a small stipend to blow on happy hour margaritas are a better option, but harder to come by. Apply to jobs you think you might be unqualified for. Who the hell knows?

Once you find a job you’re really interested in, do your best to find a way to connect your chain of connections—your network—to someone at that organization. Then, repeat the process. It won’t always go well, but no one can fault you for trying to meet people and get a leg up, especially when it’s what literally everyone else does.

Keep a spreadsheet of everyone you email for a coffee, and what came of it. You need to know who you meet with, what you talk about, and who they recommend to you.

Invariably, some of your coffees will take an interest in boosting your career, and will offer advice. Invariably, advice offered by different people will conflict. Part of being a functioning adult in this city is being able to manage these kinds of dissonances and judging for yourself which advice is most useful in a particular situation.

Some of your coffees will be game to recommend you for jobs (ideal), help you with your resume and cover letters (also great), and explain how you can gain the type of experience for the job you really want (the best, actually). All of this is very valuable.

Finally, once you have a job, and especially of job of even minor importance (as if there were any other!), you need to pay it forward: you need to be open to young, foolish transplants coming to you and stumbling through a rehearsed elevator pitch about their thesis on genital mutilation in Albania. You need to review their resumes and cover letters, give them advice, and also allow yourself to pontificate a bit because god knows your boss doesn’t listen to you so here’s the one moment in the day when someone is going to take you seriously and actually treat you as an expert, and not the easily replaceable cog that you are. You need to pay for their coffee and put them in touch with friends if they’re even halfway decent as a human being, because that’s how DC works, and, more importantly, the vicissitudes of fate being what they are, there is a non-zero chance they could end up being your boss someday, depending on how committee appointments work out or who’s in the White House (Fetterman/Boerbert 2028!).

So, in general, the best advice is to be a decent, friendly person, and if you can’t manage that—you are in DC, after all—then at least work on making people think you are for an hour or so at a time.