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I 27F have a really tough history of sleep disorders, from really vivid nightmares as a child to artifact noise/chatter, sleep paralysis, and night terrors.. I’ve taken insomnia meds since age 18. So I have a fair amount of “trauma” around sleep for lack of a better word.
Recently, my intermittent light sensitivity (grocery stores and office spaces have these lights) and difficulty driving at night have been the least of my concerns. I always felt sensitive to stimuli of any kind. But the past few months I’ve genuinely been scared of going to bed. I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes and see things that are not there, like a screen laid over the dark and it’s always always terrifying. It’s not just static. It’s like the air/walls have textures that are moving, crawling or breathing. Y’all, it’s affecting my mental health. My sleep paralysis demon has left because he is too scared to come fight these weird-ass acid trip type visuals. All my other weird sleep stuff has been so chill for years, so this is just really really hard to cope with the new onset of a possible additional lifelong sensory issue. Any words of advice or feel free to tell me I’m in the wrong place but I need help. Point me in the right direction please. I feel so alone, like I can’t explain it properly to anyone so they don’t get it.
Also, Im not looking for this “feeling” btw or attempting in any way to seek out this sensory input. It’s just there. It just shows up and intensifies and then I have to change something like the light or just get up and quit sleeping and close my eyes super super hard and cover my head with a pillow/blanket. Im not seeking the feeling at all. Please help.
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- 1 year ago
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