I am a 26-year-old Dutch guy with, if I say so myself, reasonable life experience, but total exception in the romantic field. As a consequence and so, quite directly: I have never done 'it'.

To be honest, it didn’t bother me for a long time at all, and I wasn't actively looking for it either. Life on its own is enjoyable as is. But the past period has made me quite insecure. Besides, I am not really the going-out type. Let alone that I just start talking to random people at the bar. I have been kissed a few times unexpectedly, but that was often by ladies who were too drunk to respond to or by someone whose intentions I could not quite read yet. And the one time a lady was clear about her intentions and wasn't drunk, it didn't feel right (she was too direct and therefore a bit weird in my mind, if you understand what I mean). I respectfully rejected her when she asked me to come over to her place.

Don't get me wrong: I have plenty of good female friends, but never had any relationship. The latter began to weigh more and more heavily on me, especially in the past 2 years. Now that insecurity actually still exists and I sometimes feel a bit lonely or like I'm missing something that others have, even though I have friends I talk to daily. It's even starting to affect my self-image: I'm dieting, using different parfums and other products and doing all sorts of things to make myself feel more confident. I know I'm not necessarily ugly, but I am starting to ask myself more and more questions. Sometimes I wonder if I'm not actually just asexual or aromantic. I mean, that shouldn't be a problem at all, but it's probably not the answer, since I clearly feel attracted to women. It's so that I find it difficult to talk to strangers and honestly feel comfortable alone most of the time, which doesn't encourage me to talk to non-friends in the first place. Other times I feel totally horrible and lonely, which isn't just cured by meeting my friends. Maybe the problem also lies with the fact that I've not known better than to live alone. I just don't know how to put it, but even now, at age 26, I don't truly know myself, and it makes me feel insecure. I just wish to get done with, gaining an experience which at least helps me moving forth.

What am I looking for?

Now of course my clear intention is intimacy, or even more directly; sex. But of course that's not just it. I'm looking for a slightly more complete experience - otherwise, of course, I could have sought out an escort/sexworker (I hear you probably thinking the same). But that, in my opinion, feels so impersonal, emotionless, boring and fake. I'm looking for something more: especially one-time companionship with someone who really cares about helping me, has fun with it, although an one-timer, feels harder-to-get and has passion, without hurry and especially without the money-factor. Interesting and fun conversations and when it finally comes down to it, something not that extreme. I am also open to other inexperienced/virgin people: I figure being with another virgin like myself, and especially someone who can relate, can give us the time to explore ourselves without the intrusive thoughts of performance and expectations. A sort of middle ground where we can both be ourselves without worry. Hygiene and safety are very important. I am STD free but am willing to take a test for verification.

Furthermore, I set myself without any expectations. Nor do I care about your looks or age (18 )

Now something about myself:

I speak both English and Dutch, am quite enterprising, open-minded, but at the same time also quite introverted and at my moments incredibly uncomfortable. Momentarily I'm on course of finishing my MSc. degree in physics. I play D&D, Pathfinder and all sorts of other TTRPGs at least twice a week and daydreaming is my specialty: when it comes down to physics and astronomy, I'm either unwakeable or you can't get rid of me, provided you asked me the wrong questions. No wonder I study it, I suppose. Perhaps I am a nerd ;)

My appearance: 1,87m (6'2"), 87kg (192lbs), white skin, green eyes, brownish hair and a proud owner of a dark-red full-beard.

About the appointment

Should it eventually come down to an appointment, I think it would be nice to consider getting to know each other better at a public place first, without anything intimately yet. Perhaps we could grab a cafe/restaurant/theater if we both live in the Netherlands for example. If it all feels right, we can schedule another day for the actual deed. This is purely to put us both at ease (or probably mostly myself, since I know myself as remarkably socially awkward, and it's not going to be better if I've not had an introduction of some sort). In this case we both at least know what to expect from each other. But if you want more anonymity, I totally respect that.

I can receive you at my home (in Delft) or any hotel, but can also travel across the country.

Short applause for reading all the way to here. Feel free to ask questions if you want to know anything else or just want to chat.