24M

There are many people who are virgins here because maybe they had some childhood drama, or they have some strong addiction to porn or drugs/alcohol. But I don't.

I'm an atheist so no religious reason for being a virgin. I've never been drunk and only drink like once every 5 months(barely though). I've never smoked cigarettes or weed or done any drugs(unless you count caffeine from soda). I grew up with caring and loving parents and don't have any serious childhood trauma. I've been porn-free for 3.5 years but still don't feel any different. I've improved my eating habits(quit soda and removing most ultra-processed foods from my diet). I'm a pretty average weight for my height. I've been getting into working out and skin-care lately to improve my looks. I'm a junior in college with good grades and on a solid path. I've also been working out recently and trying to bulk-up.

I'm ahead of most people here when it comes to overcoming internal struggles, but I still am a virgin and still feel hopeless. Getting laid feels like the one thing that will always be out of reach. It's not even just the sex I want, I just want that feeling of knowing a woman wants to have sex with me. I could never do an escort since they only care about the money and don't actually want to have sex with me(if they did, they'd do it for free).

I question if all this effort will even be worth it. I don't want to live a life without intimacy. I don't want to spend every night in tears. I hate how I care so much about. It's such a dumb thing to cry over. Such a pathetic thing to care so much about, yet here I am.