I know its a lot, but I just want to get it out there.

Background

Been in here for a while now so I thought I too would share what I'm going through. I'm 21, graduated high school in 2020 and haven't even spoken to a girl in a non professional setting (waitresses and such) since then. I have pretty much no social life anymore. I rarely talk to any of my old school friends and I only regularly message two of them any more. All of my social interaction is in a couple group chats, I haven't hung out with anyone in a couple years now. 

Back in my senior year of high school I had multiple girls wanting me at the same time, but in my typical fashion I wound up with none of them. I have never had a girlfriend or first kiss. I was done wrong by the one girl I wanted and it still hurts me to this day. She led me on the whole time (even getting a little handsy), then started dating some other guy. I've had anxiety and trust issues with girls since. Not that I was ever good with them to start with.

Attractiveness

I've been told by several people that I could definitely pull. I don't know whats worse, being considered attractive and not being able to get a gf or just being unattractive. Because at that point is just my fault. I'm 6'2 180lbs (189cm 81.6kg) and have been told I'm attractive by women that I find attractive. I make a decent amount of money for my age and location and have a nice car and motorcycle (it doesn't help). I still live with my parents, but I am planning on getting my own place soon. I'm afraid I will be even lonelier by myself though. A lot of you complain about being short or ugly, but I have seen much shorter and much uglier guys than myself pull some very attractive women.

Autism

My main problem is my aspergers. I've seen numerous posts in here about autism and lack of relationships. I definitely relate to those of you in this situation. I have the hardest time reading women. Is she being extra nice because it's her job, or is she being extra nice because shes flirting? I definitely do not want to assume wrong. It wouldn't matter anyways, I would say/do something dumb and fumble it. I try to act "normal", but it never comes across as such. I have missed the few opportunities I've had because of it.

Social and dating apps

Another massive problem is I am never around women. All of the jobs I've had have been almost entirely male and the few females there has been are either a lot older and/or married. There is nowhere in this shitty town that people go to hang out. I cannot remember the last time I saw any 18  girls anywhere besides at their service job. There is nowhere to go meet people. All of my hobbies and things I go to are entirely male as well. Where do women go and what do they do? I never see them in public. 

Several people tell me to go on dating apps. I've tried several of them for a few months each and only got a couple likes and no matches. I know its because my profile sucks. All the pictures of myself are either years old or shitpost type pictures. There aren't any pictures of me from the last 2 or so years. My old friends have hooked up with girls from the apps. Each time one of them lost their virginities, they said it was mid and overrated. They fail to see that it is because they hooked up with someone who they had no feelings for. I do not want that as my first experience, so I will not be hooking up from an app or paying someone. Sex is not my main goal, more of a happy byproduct of what I want, a fulfilling relationship.

Conclusion

I'm believe my autism is the main barrier for me. That is where most of my problems stem from. The depression and anxiety add on to it. I could probably lose my virginity if I ever found some girls. No offense to the older folks in here, but I very much do not want to end up in that position. I do not see any relationship in the near future, however. Reading the stories posted in here makes me feel a little better to know just how many people feel similarly to me.  I hope one day I and everyone else here can find someone.