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Newly diagnosed chronic illness
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I really hate being chronically ill because I can’t do as much as my family and I forget to do stuff. I’m not as strong as them, I can’t work as fast. Like I just don’t feel as if I can contribute as much.

Yesterday I was sick the first half of the day and then the second half was spent helping mom so I couldn’t do dog poop duty. And today we were out all day so there wasn’t much time (I full acknowledge that I could’ve done it this morning and it is 100% my fault). So when I got home and was feeling bad my dad did it then when I apologized he said I’m not sorry cause if I was I would’ve done it already. I feel like a genuinely awful kid cause I don’t have a job, I can’t drive, I’m not done with highschool, I’m sick all the time. Like I don’t feel like I contribute very much. Like I know I help out a lot but I don’t think it’s enough. I don’t feel like I’m enough right now. And I feel guilty as shit for being sick because I think I gave myself my stomach issue from taking to many pain meds. Like I just should’ve sucked it up and pushed through it. I should be stronger and not have to lay down so much because I grew up in a military family so I should be strong. But I don’t feel like I am. To others it looks like smallest bit of nausea and I’m crawling in bed. I should just deal and not show I’m in pain or feel sick. I just need to be stronger for my family. I’m just tired and want to not be sick

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Posted
1 year ago