I [20F] told a guy [19M] that I like him. He was funny, sweet, cute. No red flags at all. He was the only person there for me when it felt like I had no body so it wasn’t hard for me to fall for him. He had said to me that he was emotional unavailable and wasn’t looking for anything. And that was fine, and I totally get it. Now I wish I never told him anything about how I feel. This was months ago but recently we had what was a heart to heart conversation where he basically had told me that I’m not good enough to be with him. That maybe if I was skinny and had longer hair that I would’ve had better chances. Saying how he wouldn’t be able to bring me around his friends because he has to make sure that he has the hottest girlfriend out of his group. The week after this conversation he says of how he had date with some girl from his gym. My brain is just going “why tell me this? Why tf would I, out of all people want to know this?” After all the shit he said, you would think I wouldn’t like him anymore. But no, I do. I fucking hate myself for it. Why must I have feelings for someone that’s such a dick sometimes?! With all the shit I have been through this year, I would love to just turn off my humanity like they do in vampire diaries.