So I'm at a point right now where I've seriously considered and planned on leaving my relationship, job, moving out of state away from family, even changing my name and just start a new life.

I've been with my fiancee for 3 years so far and it's been a roller coaster of stress. Life was pretty normal before this relationship. After some time found out she abused drugs but still stayed, she tried to get off drugs and that slowed down her ability to work, I was the main source of income, racked up debt, arguments happened all the time. After us being together for 2 years found out she cheated on me, forgave her. Her parents died in a fire and that was heart breaking for everyone, she's attempted suicide and had panic attacks which over time weighed heavy on me mentally, recently I've developed depression and burn out. I'm trying to stay strong because I see she's trying hard to do better, quitting drugs altogether, gaining control of her emotions, seeing a therapist. But I can't help but feel like I wanna run away.

Right now I find nothing enjoyable, I'm always unhappy and nothing that I use to do hobby wide brings me joy. We are still behind on bills, I'm trying to do what I believe is morally right but can't get rid of this feeling of just starting over. I've planned on moving to another state and deleting all contacts with everybody (family is kinda toxic so not worried bout cutting ties with them) tell no one where I'm going, and even changing my name. I don't mind being alone in fact I prefer it most of the time. And just focus on rebuilding myself. Get my weight back down ( I went from 170 to 280 almost 300 pounds) focus and my mental health and being happy again. I'm so emotionally exhausted I don't even have energy to care bout when things go wrong in my life, kinda just shrug it off and say"it is what it is" or "just another thing to add to my messed up life"

I'm not really going in any one direction with this I just finally want to get this out because I don't have any friends to talk to about this (haven't had a friend in 8 years) if anyone takes the time to read all this I just wanna say from one stranger to another, I appreciate it.