these last couple of weeks have been so hard. one thing after another. like a series of unfortunate events have played out. i lost my uncle, my older brother ran away, left his two kids with me, been missing work due to the loss of my uncle. struggling to make ends meet, because im comfortable when im just providing for myself and my dogs. now there’s two kids and missing $$ from my paycheck. i’m not okay mentally. i have had to beg for help. people tell me to go to through the state to receive financial aid. HOW? i’m not a legal guardian of these kids. i live in a one bedroom apartment. if i go through the state they’re going to take my nieces away and put them in a foster home. i’m not doing that, i will figure it out one way or another. but let me tell you, ive been hurting mentally. begging for help, asking for money, asking strangers to buy me stuff. this shit hurts. it breaks my heart. but i have to. i have to get through this rough patch and catch up on my bills. i have to put my emotions on the back burner, and literally suck it up. i need to get my ass to work everyday, i need to take the kids to school. i need to make doctor appointments for them and make sure my dogs are fed too. THIS IS HARD. i feel like a failure but i swear i will not let them down. i WILL make this work. i’m actively trying to find a side hustle. i’m staying later when i can. i cant make it to the food banks because im in work the hours that they open. im really good at making flyers and logos but not sure how to advertise that. i used to bartend, i think i can make some money making drinks or even baking. not sure, because everything has start up costs and I DONT HAVE START UP COSTS. i literally need to make something OUT OF NOTHING. what to do what to do what to do.