I, 14M, am a gay boy from India. I made the worst decision of downloading Grindr and hooking up with a couple of people there. I lied about my age to be 17M, and had sex(I gave consent, I said yes)with men aged from 25M to 45M. I really regret this decision, and now I'm scared to have sex again. This particular guy I met up with, I did no anal, only oral, asked me for anal, I said no but he kept asking and I said it hurts, then he said fine. I deleted my account from Grindr and deleted the app, but I sort of gave him my info, which building I live in. I gave my phone number too, but I guess I blocked it. I did not give him my full name, only my nickname. This has been going on my mind for a while and I feel crappy and guilty. Does this count as rape? I was the one who contacted them and gave consent, and I was willingly doing it with them. I recently recovered from a UTI too. I really wanna come out and tell my mom everything but I feel like I betrayed her in the worst way possible. I feel so disgusting, I've been depressed for a while too, I feel my absolute worst right now, about this crappy decision I did. No wonder everyone says that teens are not ready to have sex. Worst part: I did everything unprotected.

Please help me into what steps to take to fight with this anxiety.

Tldr: me being a minor consented to having sex with adults, multiple, and now I regret it, and have the fear of having sex.