I 32 (m) have been depressed honestly for as long as I can recall at this point. High functioning and able to hide it well. But I am exhausted just by being conscious these days. I haven’t remembered a dream in just as long so I’m not sure if I even get restful sleep.

I feel like a failure, a parasite, a leech to anyone I come across.

I have failed in my career. I have no money to jump start it again, no ability to borrow either, I’m living with someone who truly fucking resents me and I have no where to go.

I hate the way I look. I’ve been working out, but I don’t have the money to provide proper nutrition to achieve my goals. Even then I doubt I will be able to have a healthy positive relationship.

The only thing that loves me on this planet is my dog. And she loves no one else. She and the fact I have some insurance that would be voided are the only things keeping me here.

I’m a broken mess who cannot fathom being happy loved wealthy or loved.

And I don’t know how to even begin changing so I don’t keep wasting my life.

I would like to start working on being happy instead of being awake. I just don’t know how.