Okay so the thought of death calms me, the thought that life somehow can end without warning is a little bit more scary, but the thought that all life eventually ends that kinda calms me because i think that whether there is nothing or that there is paradise... I think it would he peaceful and kinda relaxing to just not have to worry about anything.

But the one thing that does really really scare me is the thought of "how did it come that i experience this specific life, how is it possible that i came from nothing and yet i can actually experience this stuff" just think about it for a sec, how is it possible that we experience this, because if we came from nothing but there already was a consciousness then wouldn't that consiousness the universe itself that forces itself into every life form and wouldn't we be able to experience evey life all at the same time? Or are we all just secretly eternal consiousneses that can drop themselves into every life form? Or are we just truly created from nothing and our consiousness would just disappear from the moment we die (or we would go to heaven or something... Idk)?