I (34/m) am married for 7 years with a toddler. I work a fairly demanding, but well paying job - coming out of college I would have called this my dream job. I live in a house that I have always dreamed of having even though it is a fairly small ranch house, its the perfect property and all we need. I don't have to deal with rush hour traffic every day and I get to take trips for work by myself at least 5-6 times a year to mix up the daily routine in the office.
But I find myself unfulfilled and unhappy. I am gaining weight from stress, anxiety/panic disorder, lack of energy and my desk job of sitting 8-9 hours a day. I am feeling a bit of a mid-life crisis at the moment. My body no longer tolerates coffee/caffeine without increased anxiety or panic attacks (and I looked forward to my 1 iced coffee per day), I cannot drink more than a couple beers without intense anxiety the next day, I feel the weight of my job more often than not.
My marriage is less than fulfilling from my own personal standpoint emotionally, but we have a happy stable house to raise our child in. We are both very responsible parents and she is a great mother. I desire intimacy and feeling wanted but haven't had that since we got married. I guess you could call our situation a dead bedroom (every other month for the past 4 years), but I have adapted to it over the years. We are just on different wave lengths when it comes to that. I am a hopeless romantic who has had to bottle up that part of me away.
Today I am sitting at work and feeling emotional like my life is passing me by. My body cannot handle stress well anymore so it consumes me. I haven't felt genuinely happy in a very long time. I feel waves of depressions come and go, but most of the time I am not feeling depressed. More so just taking punches every day, or feeling unfulfilled.
There has to be more to life than this.
EDIT: I also live in the midwest where it is cold as fuck out and never see the sun in the winter. Might have something to do with how I feel currently.
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