Looking to date a local single, responsible about their overall health, non-smoker of any substances with the shared intention to build a monogamous relationship balanced with relational intimacy and a self-accountable mindset.

Not into any kind of ENM.

About me: In the vanilla space, my hobbies (~inside 70/outside 30 atm) range from webnovels and webtoons to climbing and enjoying the scenery, reading up on emotions and connecting with people. Watching stand-up comedy crowd-work is so vivacious! Weekends: at the park/getting fresh air, at a cafe, or cozying up to a book with tea. Travel: stay-cations with the occasional month-long annual vacation elsewhere. I find delving into podcasts and mediums around the relationship with others and self so interesting and deep talks I enjoy involve the Gottmans', Forest Hanson's work and on how to make relationships a more connected experience and holding space for simply being around each other and play. I strive for and appreciate a balance of curiosity, light-heartedness and thoughtfulness. My intention is to co-create emotional trust with someone I vibe with such that we can appreciate our differences as a team and work towards repair when relational ruptures happen.

Lazy Sundays cuddling and enjoying each other's company are how I like to spend weekends together. I prefer slowing down and relaxing over hitting goals and focusing on productivity.

East Asian, 5'4", single, physically slim. Switch with high emotional intimacy and physical affection needs. Seeking someone similar who most importantly emotionally self-regulates to approach relationship-building with open and flexible communication.

What I’m seeking:

Someone who my nervous system is at ease with when I interact with them, with whom we both can make changes when either of our unmet needs come up. A connection to just "be" ourselves in (that's what I appreciate about reddit, for all its flaws), feeling like we can unwind around each other. Enjoy each other's presence doing nothing but sitting side by side. It’s important to me from the outset we respect each other's comfort levels and expressed needs to foster trust and increased capacity for progressive vulnerability. I'm looking for someone equally willing to try building an intimate, connected relationship that balances heart-to-heart conversations and playful curiosity.

Each time we show up for potentially hard yet human conversations, the relationship becomes more sustainable. We practice tuning into when our stuff comes up during conflict with check-ins as appropriate. We're both clear on what we want to try to build our connection and can be comfortable expressing our limits in a judgement-free zone.

I prefer to get to know someone virtually first to rule out mutual dealbreakers and connect on a SFW compatibility basis before anything else.

Please be between the ages of 26-40 and be lean-average, and have a comment/post history. No throwaway accounts or anyone who already disrespects my boundaries stated here, including my non-negotiables. I only engage with intros that align with my post.

Basic non-negotiable requireds:

• Also similar in terms of: local, single and childfree, willing to have a conversation around each other's sexual health risk profile and be fully tested before any intimacy, non-smoker of any substances

• Shares compatible intentions around also seeking a monogamous relationship and the capacity to emotionally self-regulate

• Willingness to repair around relational ruptures/conflict. Understands that I am also learning and growing alongside them

• Between the ages of 26-40

• Lean side of average body type

• Also gainfully employed as am I

• Able to make time to be intentionally present for quality in-person time together 2-3 times a week consistently

• Regular affectionate hugs and cuddling once we're comfortable. Kind and respectful contact from people I'm comfortable with is incredibly healing.

• Willing to dialogue if issues come up on either side to make tweaks that work for us and hold ourselves and each other accountable for follow-through

• We can just "be" around each other and do our best to help each other feel comfortable in our presence.

• Takes care of self physically, mentally, and emotionally. Has a physical activity they enjoy regularly, for me that's climbing.

Other preferences: Cares about helping each other feel at ease, clean-shaven or short, well-trimmed beard, people who can vibe with this post.

I respond to messages that reflect the vibe/depth I'm looking for and provide the below in the first message:

1. Include your basics (age/height/ethnicity, physique, relationship values and intentions, interests, etc.) and references to my non-negotiables.

2. How do you self-regulate during conflict in a romantic connection? What's your approach to helping those around you feel welcome and at ease in your company?

Looking forward to connecting with someone who writes a relevant introduction, provide a SFW face and full-body photo within a week or so of talking, and is ready for a virtual vibe-check.