Let’s be respectful of each other’s time so please read very carefully. I’m looking for someone in person not an online affair or a pocket boyfriend.

I’m a 41 year old married child-free Asian woman who has been in a dead bedroom for a decade. I’m juggling a very demanding professional career, caring for my husband and completing grad school. Yes, I’m most definitely married. No, I have absolutely zero plans to be Mrs. Number Whatever. I’m simply trying to have my cake and eat it too.

What do I look like? Not quite like Shrek but no, I’m not exactly beautiful according to conventional standards. I am 5’2 and about 175 lbs. proportionately distributed curves. I’m fat and I am long over it. If you see me running, there must be a bear chasing me so you better run too. Naturally tanned skin, waist length wavy jet black hair. Dark brown almond shaped eyes, fuller lips, short nose. I keep a clean, minimalist, professional appearance.

I’m naturally submissive, nurturing, kind, very affectionate, attentive and caring. While I may have a sweet, sunny, Golden Retriever-like disposition, be aware that I do not suffer fools gladly.

I have a wide range of interests and hobbies, a delectably dark sense of humour, great taste in wine, food and art, fondness for crappy TV and a terrible taste in music. I am reading crappy books right now because finance and economics are not exactly very riveting read for summer.

Well-educated and well-travelled, I speak 4 languages, 5 if you include sarcasm on the list. I tend to lapse into my native tongue in the throes of passion though. I’m not speaking in tongues, it means you are very good with yours.

My sexual proclivities are not exactly the vanilla starfish variety. I’ll make you a delicious meal, wear a sexy lingerie and a collar with a leash if that would turn you on. I enjoy passionate, sensual kinky sex. I’m sorry but a threesome or any other configuration is out of the question. Hard pass on pain or anything I find degrading.

The Bad: I am a hopeless romantic, which probably explains why I am here. I catch feelings easily. I am clingy, needy, bratty. Let’s do PDA. Take me on a date, I have two left feet but take me dancing anyway and make out with me.

I can be intense, a little extra maybe. I’m not jealous or possessive. I respect boundaries and priorities. I hope you do too. Relax, I am not trying to steal and keep you. If you’re single, let me be very clear I am not leaving my husband for you.

What am I looking for? An old-old fashioned, torrid and passionate long-term exclusive affair. Like a true Asian stereotype, I like a tall, handsome and fit Caucasian man ideally between 40-55. You should care about your appearance, health and preferably be OCD about your hygiene. I have a thing for Scandinavian/Nordic types. I want a dominant man, who’s in control and used to taking charge both personally and professionally.

Perhaps you’re also in a dead bedroom situation and need someone who is attentive to your needs, showers you with affection, appreciates your attention and has a sense of adventure in and out of the bedroom.

Logistics: This has to be said. Affairs are expensive. I hope you’re well- prepared with more than enough resources to make this happen. Ideally, you travel to Victoria in Vancouver Island regularly for work and your employer covers your airfare and your five star hotel accommodation. Better yet, you live in Victoria. You read that right, I have a taste for the finer things. Sadly expensive grad school tuition fees keep me on a tight budget. I’ll buy you dinner or I will happily make it for you then give you a massage after?

If you’re interested, be articulate and as clear as you possibly can be with what you want. English is my second language so I prefer precision over ambiguity.

Send a picture, I will do the same. Let’s get that out of the way early. Be polite and respectful if I am not your type though. As I said, I am not conventionally beautiful. I am not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s perfectly fine by me. I only need one man anyway.

Come get me if you want me.