Seeking some dating advice and connection with like-minded and respectful people/perverts. First off, yes I know in this subreddit that respect on the SFW side is optional. That said, I would like to hear from people who also value sexual interaction in some form on how to find someone who makes an earnest effort to connect with me on both the SFW and NSFW side.

Would it help me find better matches if I include more about who I am and what I value on the SFW side in addition to the NSFW side on here? Or is it 'no need to put pressure on myself for sharing the "correct" type of info' because people will naturally show you if they value one much more than the other with me based on how they introduce themselves to me and their first impressions?

I don't WANT my sexuality to be the first thing people know about me and inevitably get approached by guys who just want to get laid. But it feels like I have no choice if I want to find someone who isn't completely turned off by what I'm into. And even if it wasn't a complete dealbreaker, that's still not the same as them wanting to participate in it with me. I'm not looking to have to go to someone else for it when I'm already in a relationship. I also think the moment someone thinks my fetish or kink is gross, even if they could 'live with knowing and not being involved', it kind of makes me feel disconnection like they're shaming and judging who I am as a person, which probably would completely sever my desire to continue any relationship with them.

Advice, respectfully given, on maybe what to consider doing differently or reflect on differently would be welcome. What's a good ratio of SFW/NSFW to share about myself for the highest chance of finding someone who would respect me as a person while being open-minded and considerate in a dating context? How might I be getting in my own way of finding someone compatible?