Appreciate any advice here. I'm looking for someone single 30 who is tasteful and into outfits/costumes within a guardian/ward dynamic. Examples include: Nurse outfits, doctor lab coats, maid, schoolgirl uniforms, collars and cat ears, succubus, crotchless lingerie, cheongsams, kimonos and the like.

They would have to:

• Be respectful and tasteful, and understand time, place, occasion.
• Understand consent and respect boundaries
• Be ok with a guardian/ward dynamic both in and out of the bedroom like friend who happens to be staying with her friend's dad for reasons - Birthday Girl bookfan here which is why my ideal partner would be a responsible man with the 'DILF' vibe.
• Meet a baseline level of attraction - visual and mental
• Be Local and DDF completely (including no 420/smoking), clean and hygenic
• Be single and NOT attached already in any shape or form, including a wife or a SB. Sucks that I have to state this outright but the DMs have proven it necessary.
• Agree to complete privacy and confidentiality from the very start - NO: 'audience members'/couples, recording, etc. You'd think that would be obvious with the 'single' mentioned multiple times in my post but I guess basic reading comprehension and respect for my time is something I'm looking for by default as well.
• Know what they want and are into without "looking to explore"
• Not be using a throwaway account with low karma for any personal DMs.

Hard limits: Hair pulling, asphyxiation, physical violence (aside from spanking), controlling/demanding personalities, cages/extreme physical stuff, etc.

Into: Spanking, Freeuse, thorough understanding and practice of communication and consent, etc.

Where would I find someone like that locally and/or what are some subtle clues or hints to figure out if someone in person is open to that without being too obvious and potentially offending them?

I've been on the apps like Fetlife and Feeld but haven't had much success finding someone that meets what I'm looking for here. If they're all taken by this point, I'd appreciate the heads up too.

Or if you're a cosplayer and know where to source good quality outfits or someone who wants to talk color and accessory/style coordination, I'd appreciate any pointers.

Personal interest DM-wise, I'll probably only look at those who open with their basic stats and specifically addressing each non-negotiable, especially around guardian/ward dynamic SFW. Would need to see a face photo within a week if not upfront.

Thanks in advance for advice.