Here I am 23 years old, I’ve always thought about immortality and how cool of a concept it is, if I can grasp and take it I would, at this point dying is my phobia, I feel like 100 years is just way too short, in terms of losing family members and people close to me, sure I’d be sad for a few days or months but it’ll pass, just like the other close people to me that died before, existing forever is something I truly want. Even if it means endless suffering or living in pain/torture as long as I exist I’ll keep going, might be weird of me but I never really truly understand wanting to die myself, I was forced to join gangs at the age of 14 and survived really brutal hazing, gotten beaten up every single day, and when you’re at that point in life, you always look at your back, and trying your best to survive every single day. Might be why I’m clinging on life so hard, now that I’m an adult there are problems such as jobs/money/ building a family/ and the expectations of my grandparents that raised me, but none of those problems faze me for some reason, the only thought that keeps going in my mind is how can I live longer than this, maybe because I lived such a crap life that I want another chance to have a longer life where I can live in peace.