I’ve suspected I have vaginismus for awhile now. Today I went for my first pelvic exam and Pap smear . I’ve been putting it off for too long because I was afraid of the pain. However, I was having menstruatal problems and I finally decided I needed to bite the bullet and do it.

I was super anxious. And I’ll admit, it hurt like hell. But my new doctor was great. I explained that I experienced pain upon penetration beforehand, so she used the smallest tools she had, and worked very quickly. She also didn’t do the bilateral (I might have that word wrong) part this time because she could tell I was in pain.

Afterwards, she explained to me that I have a very small vaginal opening, and that the pain I’m experiencing is probably from Vaginismus. She wants to do a couple more tests to confirm there’s nothing else going on, because of some family history of other things, but she said once we have those results, we can start working on figuring out a way to work through the vaginismus!

I’m really excited, I feel really heard and understood. I didn’t even say the word vaginismus myself, even though I suspected it, my doctor explained it on her own. I’m so glad to finally have a doctor I feel like I can trust.

I have no idea what comes next but I’m grateful!