I know it takes time and patience and I haven’t been dilating for that long really, only about a month, but ugh it’s so frustrating! I was doing so well and making such good progress, and I managed to go from being unable to even insert a tampon to now being able to insert the fourth CalExotics dilator. But even though I can insert it, there’s still a significant amount of pain both when I initially put it in and when I remove it. It’s not unbearable, and today I was able to move it in and out with only slight stinging. It’s just frustrating to feel like I’ve been on this one forever and I’m never going to make it to the last one.

And that last one seems so big! I’m terrified of the day when I do feel ready to try it.

Anyway, thanks for reading my complaining. I’m proud of myself for making it this far in such a short time, even if I am annoyed right now that I’m not continuing to progress as fast as I’d like. I hope you all have something to be proud of yourselves for too, and if you don’t, remember that it takes time and being kind to yourself and your body. You can do it. We all can.