I miss who I was before I ever met you

Before your actions destroyed my light

before my throat swelled up

before I doubted my thoughts

before I talked myself out of my beliefs

before I heard your bullying voice in my head.

before my nervous system knew such a shock and slam.

You introduced that to me.

Such violent shockwaves.

The excruciating pain of someone crossing you over emotionally and then the pain of turning on you cold. The distortion of reality. The cruelty. And then the lies that followed. The denial. The brutality of silencing. And the social ostracism. The lack of accountability. The

You lovebombed with promises of love, forgiveness, commitment, respect, compassion, and, blindsedly ending things - coldly, then yelled at me with frustration. It was cruel. Then ripped your love away. It was abandonment. Then you denied it.

I miss who I was before you.

You gave me PTSD. You Fried my Nervous System. If I could press charges for it I would. For the joy you stole from my body. Because I had so much joy before I met you. Before you selfishly robbed my nervous system of it by being the most selfish person I have ever met and disguised yourself as someone “sweet” and “generous” when I think you’re actually one of the most vengeful people I have ever met.

I hope you never do it to someone else ever again.

I hope someone finds this on the internet. I hope you find this on the internet.