You were a crazy bitch but we had some fun! Driving to some crazy places so we could make love, well love is too strong a word, but definitely a lot of lust and a lot of fingers.

I miss the chaos.

Parking in the carpark of a mental hospital, I never did ask why. Leaning on the horn was clumsy of me, but room is tight at the front and you insisted you didn’t want the backseat in case somebody came. Quick getaway and all. Personally I didn’t care if we got caught, we were adults after all, the extra room would have been handy.

Nobody came to see what the noise was, nobody ever came, but you always seemed on edge.

I miss you! I miss our drives!

You didn’t laugh when you threw your tampon out the window in the darkness. I thought it was hilarious, I’ll take that with me until I die. The window wasn’t open! It was at least worth a smirk? No?

I know we didn’t have much in common, but you have a special place, because you was my first.

It ended the night you slow danced with my best friend. I lost both of you that night. Stopping your dance to block every source of light into the room, even so far as blocking the LEDs on the stereo that was playing. Once the room was sufficiently dark I left. Third wheel and all. To lay on the bonnet of the car and look at the stars.

I learnt a lot. But I didn’t learn anything about love. And I didn’t care. It was fun.