It’s been a tough 3 weeks. You had it rough with what happened. I had a tough time at work and with freaking out that you and i aren’t going to be like this together anymore. I had so many questions, questions to prompt you about why, what do you want from a poly relationship, what do you need in a relationship, do i remind you of the ones that hurt you before? I wanted to tell you i wouldn’t hurt you, just stay, that i’ll put the effort in, you don’t have to be the one to fly 6-7hours. I’ll do that. Because i love you. I wanted to tell you so much but when i finally saw you, when we finally were together for the weekend, all i thought about was you and me right here right now. You hugged me so tight when we napped. When your grip slipped, you would tighten your arms around me. I didn’t want to leave that moment. I felt so loved by you. I felt like this weekend, i just gave myself permission to love you as i do. Not being stuck in my head about whether i was good enough, whether i could impress you enough to stay. I just wanted to love you joyfully as you are.And i did. I forgot everything i wanted to say, to ask. I just loved you this weekend. You’ve left now about 2 hours. The house is quiet. I miss you already. We haven’t made plans to meet again. I wish you could just stay. I wish out holidays together would be permanent. Just you and me. I love you. I hope you felt it this weekend. I don’t know when we’ll meet again. You said, we’ll look at out calenders. But realistically, you’d want to spend time with family during the holidays. I’d be at work, as i usually am. This could be the first time we had no solid date to meet again. I really do feel like this could be the last time i held you the way i held you. I miss you. And january isn’t even here yet.