Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying romance is bad or relationships are bad. Just how we often pursue and engage in relationships is toxic.

It often feels like people enter relationships to self actualize through another person. So instead of considering whether the person is actually a good fit for you, you try to force them into a relationship box. A box that dictates how they "should" act and behave based on honestly made up rules.

It's like there's little space for personal consideration. We're often chasing this fantasy of what love looks like in movies, tv and etc at the expense of the person in front of us. It like we actively deny people the space to be themselves.

When really the only thing we should expect is mutual respect of our individuality and the openness to learn. If I know who a person is and I accept that over my idea of what a relationship is then it makes it easier to talk, compromise and make sure that my partners needs are met without compromising myself.

As it is, we continually ask people we supposedly love more than anything to compromise themselves for the sake of achieving the image of love. Then we wonder what happened when we wake up later feeling like shells of our former selves.

If we can change our perspective and really grasp "who" we are with then even if a relationship ends, I think itll be easier to handle. Right now, it tears people up. They get vindictive and hateful.. again towards someone they supposedly love. I think that's because your dream or fantasy was ripped out your hands prematurely.. you feel you're not worthy of that image.. rather than actually being upset that the person isnt going to be in your life anymore.