hi all,

I'm gay and is not open to anyone. It is hard for me to make friends with other guys. I rather have no friends than having a lot of friends, but just for socializing. To be honest, I just have 1 friend (straight) and he is my bestie.

About 1 year ago, I met a (straight) guy at my local gym. We were getting closer (as friends) because he is taking IT degree, which I took before. I helped him with assignments and we aimed for fullmarks, so basically I spent hours after work to help him with assignments.

After a few months, I confessed to him that I liked him, but he rejected me. Then he asked to not go gym together anymore. I understand that he isn't comfortable anymore. Then he has a gf after that.

Since I still care him (well as a friend), I want him the best, so I told him I'm still happy to help him with assignments and his study. And I thought he still sees me as a friend.

He then had a 2-month school holiday, but he didn't send me a message or even asked to catch up. I wanted to catch up once to have dinner but he said he was busy with fulltime work during the holiday. Then we talk again now when he is in a new semester. I help him again with his assignments, feel stressed to get him full marks, stayed up to 4AM to type answers for him ... (I know I'm crazy)...

Until lately I just realised all he did was just saying thanks to me afer each time I help him. All of our (online text) conversations are just about his assignments and uni. He never ever asks me out for a coffee or a lunch to actually show his appreciation while we live 500m apart. Well it was the same even before I confessed to him.

So I started to ask myself it is really a friendship? Or am I being used? Is he worth to consider as a friend?

So I decided to be cold to him, talk less to him when I see him at the gym, but then he still sends me his assignments, then I help him again ...

I would like to ask guys out there, if you were him, would you see it as a friendship? or it is like some free help and then you will just forget me after you've done with uni?