Hi! It's my first time posting here. I just wanna share what's in my head for the past few months. Maybe a kind advice would help. I've been on a rocky journey towards losing 10 kgs for the last 3 months. I still have 25 kgs to go until I achieve my goal weight. I plan to lose all 35 kgs in a span of 1-2 years, mainly consisting of a steady caloric deficit and muscle building.

I'm gonna be honest. The thing that fuels my desire to lose weight is to find someone who finds me attractive enough to date. Recently, I find my self obsessively looking at the mirror and noticing flaws to pick at. When I was at my starting weight, I never really cared about these flaws. I started to notice them the more I lose weight and being particular about how I look. Every time I look at the mirror I look for something to pick at. You're not fair enough. Your face is not symmetrical. Your body is disproportionate. You're shorter than you should be. Your eyes are sunken. Your nose is literally the ugliest part of you. I swear you can't find a flaw to gawk at that I haven't called out in front of the mirror.

I have aceepted that even after I lose all this weight, these flaws wouldn't really be more unnoticeable. How am I suppose to live my life when every picture of myself reminds me that I could never really be "happy" in choosing a more healthy life. I feel like I'm gonna crash and burn if I can't be happy with how I look. How do you make amends with the reality of putting all your blood, sweat, and tears into something worthless in the end?