I just need a moment to vent here, I am sorry.

Lately, my life has gone to hell. My dishwasher broke, our kitchen sink faucet isn't working right, and there was a leak in the wall that caused all this mess and mold. I have no floor in my laundry room, half my hallway, half my closet, and about 1/4 of my bedroom. There are chunks cut out of my wall. This has been going on for a month and I am so stressed and tired. I feel paralyzed because I am just trying to keep myself from falling into a major depression over this. I spend what free time I have on hobbies (my therapist recommends behavioral activation, so doing things that bring me joy to help fight the depression) and just a little bit of moving things here and there every day. My husband sleeps until 2 pm or later every day (he works 2nd shift) so I feel like I can't make noise during my productive hours because he is a light sleeper.

I just moved allllll the furniture in the bedroom to the living room yesterday in anticipation of the work that needs to be done and it's stressing me out even more. Nothing has a home right now. I was in the middle of a major declutter when all this happened, so stuff is everywhere. I have so much stuff that needs to get out of the house. All this on top of my normal chores that I already struggle with a lot. I don't do dishes unless I can put them in the dishwasher. Dishes are my least favorite chore. I have always been this way. The sink is overflowing. I can't keep up. I have been washing one spoon for the past 2 weeks because I cannot find any of the others. It's so stressful to not have clean cutlery. I've lost 10 lbs in the past month from not eating and the stress.

I know what I need to do, but it's so hard for me to find time to do it right now. I work best when the sun is up and shining, and daylight saving time just ended. Great. There is not a single room in this house that is picked up and clean, except for the guest bathroom. And I would assume there is mold forming in the tub again from a leak. So is it really clean in there? I am at a loss. Is there anyone else out there struggling right now? I could really stand to hear from some fellow stressed-out people right now.

I can plan all I want, but I can't really execute. I want to clean during the day when I am working (I WFH) but obviously, I can't do that. It's not trash in the house, it's just clutter. So much clutter. I never want to be drowning in clutter like this ever again. I guess I am stuck on steps 4 and 5 of KC Davis' method. Because things do not have homes right now. At all. I plan on working on the bedroom some more today after work. The furniture may be gone, but the junk that was in the furniture is not. It's littering the floor. Maybe I should just call out today and do some housework, husband be damned. Because I cannot live like this anymore.