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i been in a relationship almost 2yrs but the last year been working crazy hard in my career My relationship has never been perfect. Heās egotistical, selfish, a liar, possessive, jealous, over reactive, delusional, super fucking hypocritical, and so many things that donāt make me feel good and donāt make for a successful, loving, good long term relationship. weāve had countless fights over the years where he makes me feel like Iām the one whoās wrong even tho heās hurt me more and donāt things that any normal person would call the cops The other day I learned that a friend of a friend of someone theyāre fucking, was told how my bf was sending messages as if my bf was ātrynna smashā Now Iāve seen my bf flirt in front of me, do whatever to try to get attention, etc. he knows I donāt get jealous like that cuz for me, if itās LOVE and u actually want me then u wonāt do that kinda shit (especially cheat, and if u cheat then u donāt love me and go find better and do us both a favor). But my friend telling me this was different cuz we had arguments that involved situations like thisā¦except itās always him accusing me that Iām dmāing guys cuz he sees I have a new ig follower. Even if itās my friend who I have zero attraction to, yet I find that heās doing the same shit now that I caught him doing a year ago and two years ago that he accuses me of doing I thought we got past it with all those fights over a year ago and how much he swears heās āloyalā and would never do the shit he accuses me of (he also accuses me of cheating which I never). But heās the same hypocrite heās always been, from two years ago all the way to now even with all he put me thru and made me change for him. Iāve accepted him always but he never has accepted me or changed for me like Iāve done for him. Putting this into words I know it is not gonna last (which Iāve always questioned if it would) now itās just a question of when do I end it and how do I end something with someone that owes me 10kā¦especially when my life is not set up with my own place or car (more issues Iāve been dealing with this last year ) Iām tempted to give him a taste of his own medicine, but I think more than that I wish he would fuckjjng be the better man he says her is and not who I always saw he was yet chose to see the better version he said he is by is not
Or is this how everyone is and how all relationships are?
me too haha my life is such shit rn. Most toxic relationship of my life (this post doesnāt even begin how bad itās gotten), lost my car and gained a stalker/harasser, and still donāt have my own place lol šš«
Mature in your 30s? š¤£ Iām in my 20s and my bf is a decade older in his 30s. I had the same gut feelings about him during our very first fight almost 2yrs ago but I never learned how to trust my gut/always try to see the good/potential in people. But more and more Iām realizing my gut feelings are right but Iām at a point where idk what to even do. Heās a hypocrite, lies to himself so he lies to people around him. Which Iāve always known/seen. Im never tryna change people but a liar and a hypocrite is something that wonāt last for me. Itās hard to leave when u see good in people, and have also had good times together. If I could make him see his wrongs and leave him, that would be better to me than just leavingā¦Idk why. Idk what to do. Sometimes I feel like relationships are just like that thoā¦youāll never have full trust. And if youāre with a narcissist who needs attention, someone who says they love u but would never put that āloveā over themselvesā¦idk itās either not love or relationships just mean u put up with shit and nothing can be equal/trustworthy/perfect or have any communal growth / change
Heās messaging girls (the type of girls I know heās attracted to) saying paragraphs of how theyāre beautiful. When I found something similar in our first fight years ago he said he only talks/follows/likes girls pics and shit for his job cuz heās an artistā¦.yet I have a follow from any guy he calls me out for being shady in my dms and swears he doesnāt do that. I say even if guys dm me that doesnāt mean Iām flirting or gonna even respond and def not gonna cheat. He writes himself off with a free pass for everything and I get accused even when Iāve lost so much of my life and myself just so he can feel secure. Now Iāll questioning if his dms would go further and heād actually cheatā¦I never thought heād go that far but idk now. Idk how to end it either. I have no place to live and no car and he owes me a lot of money cuz I supported him when he had nothing cuz of Covid. Sad thing is if I do break up Iād want him to be my friend but idk if he would (even tho he talks to his ex wife and likes her pics and accuses me of talking to my ex that I never even responded to and says he canāt trust me) Heās delusional for thinking he doesnāt do the same or worst shit. I want him to know heās not the person he says he is, he lies to himself which means he lies to me. But again how do u end somethin when u have no place to live and no car and they owe u money ā¦
Oh Iām definitely not perfect. All my faults are self inflicting, I try my hardest not to do any wrong to my partner, but Iāve come to learn even when itās self inflicting it can hurt the person that loves u. So Iām def not perfect but I feel relationships shouldnāt be so tiring, tho Iām probs just not equipped to be in one
Not exactly, Iām there a lot cuz I donāt have my own place yet ://
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Thanks but Iām clean. At least for now š«