It has been a fun discussion. Just curious to find out if I’m alone in my thinking.

Red wine = I’m going to make love to your dick until we simply cannot wait any longer for you to be inside me. Smooth and savory. You’ll feel warm all over.

Beer = I’m going to suck your dick like a drunken 19 year old college freshmen trying to make you like me. It’ll be energetic and enthusiastic but not my most precise work. Your orgasm will catch both of us by surprise.

Whiskey or scotch = Slower and methodical. You’ll be right on the edge of seeing Jesus for a long time. It’ll be like the comfy flannel shirt of blowjobs. After you cum, I’ll lick you methodically until you’re so very clean.

Tequila = Slightly frantic head with plenty of support from my very professional hands. I’ll be super drunk. A clock will be ticking in my head as I’ll be unsure of how long I have left in the conscious world. I’ll be driven to get you over the edge sooner than later.

Vodka = Porn star head. It’ll be a whole production. I’ll bring the enthusiasm. I’ll bring the attitude. I’ll even be sure that my makeup is on point and that I look fantastic with your dick in my mouth. Near the finish line both of us will be a bit out of our bodies and I’ll give you permission to finish anywhere you like.

Absinthe = You will be jerking off because I will be dead.

So am I right or am I right?