I’ve worked with numerous couples over the years. While the lifestyle veterans usually have a system down, the newbie couples and even a few who have been around the block a bit keep asking, “how do we find quality single guys?” You know as well as I do, most single males who hit you up are either total fakes, pushy, aggressive, socially incompetent, lie about their dick size, try to get the female to meet them alone, and all sorts of other issues. The problem is most single guys turn to the “lifestyle” because (a) they think that it’s a way to get easy sex, or (b) they have power issues and they’ve watched too much cuckold porn and think that every couple in the lifestyle is a cuckold couple. So how do you weed out the riff raff and find a rare valuable single guy? Here’s some tips I’ve gathered from the veterans (I’ve even had some of these used on me).

1. Start with the basics. Quality single males are rare in the lifestyle, and thus usually in demand. If you want to snag one of these rare guys, generally you have to be a top quality couple. This means the woman should be above average attractiveness with a fit toned body (not necessarily a model but generally attractive and looks like she takes care of herself), and a friendly fun personally that is open to male attention. The male should be sociable and friendly. You will have more challenges attracting the rare good single males if you don’t have the basics.
2. Have a zero tolerance of disrespect in the approach. If he address the couple by only addressing the female, this is a red flag. He either isn’t really interested in your dynamic as a couple, or he just has too little experience. And if he is rude, aggressive or trying to cuck the husband on first intro…well that’s a red flag too.
3. Verification, verification, verification. This eliminates the total fakes, posers and liars, which is about 80% of wannabe single males. If they haven’t done so already of their own accord, have them verify EARLY in your conversation. Use a verification method that is difficult to hack. “Live cameras” can be hacked. The “handwritten crumpled paper” method is a hassle but it’s hard to fake. Ask for full body (no face), and dick pic with this crumpled paper verification method. Have them use a ruler next to their dick for sizing, not household items (are they using the fun size or party size bottle? Lol). If a single male puts up a fuss about going through this verification process, he is almost certainly a poser or fake. Remember: real dudes don’t mind verifying.
4. Brief online chat. So you’re down to the 20% who are respectful on first encounter and are real and willing to verify. Now’s the time to figure out what their experience is in the lifestyle and if they seem to meet what you are looking for for your particular scenario. This shouldn’t be days/weeks chat, or overly detailed fantasy sexting. Remember you’re just screening for compatibility. If a single male can’t stand a little brief chat on these things, it shows he doesn’t really care about what you guys want as a couple. And that’s…you guessed it…a red flag!
5. Proof of experience. If a guy is claiming experience, try to verify it some way. Either in pics/vids of encounters where he can be easily recognized, or by references from couples he’s worked with. This doesn’t apply if you’re dealing with a single male who is new to the lifestyle, but here I would say TREAD WITH CAUTION! New single males are best initiated by the most veteran of couples.
6. Meet & greet. Unfortunately this only really applies to local meets. For a distance meet, I would suggest doing it over FaceTime. Basically it helps weed out the guys who are sociable and like chatting, but don’t want to actually meet. It also helps weed out the horn dogs who are just looking for quick easy sex. Basically say, “Hey we (the couple) think you might be a good candidate for what we are looking for. Let’s all meet xyz date/time for a quick drink to chat about possibilities. No play that night, but if it goes well we can schedule a play date.” If he gets in a huff and says how he “only plays on the first date”…guess what…red flag (desperate horn dog). Also, if he’s a flake, and doesn’t show up, you’re not out a hotel booking and such. If you plan it to be on the way home from work, you might not even be out child care (if you have kids)!
7. Have a zero tolerance policy for poor communication skills. No call/no shows on a meet & greet, etc. it’s not hard to text someone and let them know you’re running 30 min late, or text a couple days in advance saying your plans changed. The lifestyle require so much coordination that poor communications skills have little room at the table.
8. No pushy guys! If a guy starts pushing for a meetup, or pushing boundaries you have set…guess what…another red flag! While some slack can be cut for a guy being eager to meet you, he should never cross the line into pushiness.

So how do you easily spot a rare single male? 1. He verifies his pictures (body and dick) without you having to ask 2. He opens by addressing both members of the couple socially; respects the male, and is slightly flirty with the female but not overbearing. 3. He asks early in the conversation what your dynamic is as a couple, what you are looking for, etc. Volunteers his background, experience, and offers to provide references. 4. Offers to do a meet & greet with no play if local, and is flexible about scheduling. 5. Communicative about his plans, his ETA, and changes etc. 6. Offers to travel to you, or offers to book the hotel if you are traveling to him.

I’m sure there’s more that I’ve missed, but I will continue to update this list as I think of more things. Happy hunting!