It was a sad day for me. I won't even try to downplay it, I was really sad.

It all felt surreal. As surreal as that part in Inventing Anna, Episode 2, 47:21 onwards.

I was as powerless as Anna as she was faced with reality. Her strong stance breaks down as she utters the words, "I can... I can... I can pay..."

"I... I am... I am not milk chocolate. I won't be."

When it sank in, I was already in my bed. My silk pillows weren't enough to comfort me.

As Val described her (Anna) to Vivian and said, "I have never seen anyone so fierce, turn so fragile so quickly."

I was crying, and my hard shell melted away, exposing soft, the beautifully bitter dark chocolate inside. However, no one was there waiting for it.

I cannot finish my sentences out loud. I just started with "I... I'm not..."

Then I just cried. Then I fell asleep.

I am not the sweet, smooth milk chocolate that you've been eyeing on.

I thought you've read the details at the back, checked on the label and read what I have and where I'm from. But you saw something from afar, wrapped in gold foil, and it caught your eye. It was enough to put me back on the shelf and approach it.

For a second there, I thought I would be brought to the counter. You took some time reading. I even saw you smile, but again, the shiny, expensive packaging of milk chocolate made being chosen more difficult than it already is.

Sometimes I wonder, am I just good for hot water? To melt into it and only a few enjoy? For it takes time and effort, unlike those in powder form which can be enjoyed in a snap. Not much effort, not the best, but good enough.

The long drive you'd do to enjoy hot chocolate while sitting somewhere cold, and cozy would always be worth it-- not unless you'd prefer the instant ones as long as it's in a pretty expensive mug.

It's funny yet heartbreaking, that I am in pure form, yet the diluted, reconstituted version of what I am appears more like " real chocolate" than what chocolate actually is.

"Why do you taste like that? I thought you were chocolate."

"I am. I am chocolate."

"Then why do you taste like that?"

"If you've pictured me differently, then I'm sorry.

But that doesn't mean that I am not who I say I am.

That doesn't change who I am-- or what I am.

I am just not how others had shaped in your head of what chocolate should be."